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I Have Assessed That Many Do Not Like Or Understand Me....I Am Being Me...

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Ameliorate - 26-30 years old - male

Posted by Ameliorate
on July 21st, 2010 at 11:16 PM

I guess I have created a person, within myself, who comes off as someone who many don't like or understand, or are intimidated by. When I socialize or briefly interact with many people I acknowledge in their eyes a look of irritation, disaproval, dislike, or some other indication that I turn them off. My personality is an introverted maverick; I don't need people's approval in a group to feel worthy, I don't follow others at all e.g., language or mentality; I don't care too much about being social just to  be social; or following social norms regardless of it being socially acceptable-this is due to me rationally analyzing the act and concluding that it's totally absurd and disingenious; I carry myself with much confidence and belief in who I am; I am kind, very mannerful, somewhat proper and respectful where I rationally percieve it to be directed; Self-discipline and self-improvement has become a natural thing ; I do hold myself to high standards, maybe to high some would say, but I don't concur- I just learned and believe to give your all; I have been told that I am a good person and I believe I am too-honest, trustworthy and moral; there is a serious side of me too, rigorous even; stand-offish, distant and to myself I am also. I know everyone has their opinions on other people (as they should) but I have been experiencing too much 'hating', or rejection, or mis-understanding and I have come to trust absolutely no one. It hurts profoundly to be treated as if I am not appreciated, liked, or understood continually; what I have to say is often challenged, dismissed, under-rated, under-noticed.......I am at the point where I don't even speak how I feel about many things from how I feel- I have allowed these people to control me in a way (I know). I also don't even speak to many people at work or at the house where I am renting unless I really have to-I feel they don't deserve my company or any of me anymore. I believe that I am worth much; I have learned more than I probably should; I think and read about a lot of different areas; I've taught myself many life/self sustaining things; overall I do have something to say about life. I believe people just think I think that I am better than them, and/or they feel quite inferior and unable to assess someone who is a bit different than what they encounter normally. It just hurts and hurts and hurts. Now I am extremely alone- I just have to find my way out of this...

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  1. FlowersNButterflies - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by FlowersNButterflies on September 5th, 2013 at 2:00 PM

    Life is intensely challenging for those as intelligent as you are. My analogy for this is that you have full visual ability in a world of people who are color-blind. While you see the rainbow, they see tones of gray. They will not believe you, because they do not have the capacity to see what you see.

    There is no merit in being more intelligent, and so gentleness is usually called for; they will attack you because they will sense there is something you have that they want, but not having it, they cannot know what it is!

    You will always have to be more selective with other people... some may surprise you with their depth, for awhile... and then you will come to the end of that road with them. There will always be another, sometime, some place. You can reach out through your heart to the invisible friends who love you dearly and find comfort there.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 25th, 2015 at 11:07AM

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

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