So I found my father
on facebook. Didn't add him or message him. Just looked at his picture. I looked at it hard and all this memories began playing in my head. I got teary just looking at it. Truth is and this more of a confession to myself, is that I miss him. I wish we had a good relationship but I haven't talked to him in a year or so. He never was a good father. Always breaking promises. I think I only saw him once a year after I turned 12. As I got older I realized that he wasn't worth is and since he wasn't going to be a good father I wasn't going to ever speak to him again cause I got tired of it. I stopped calling him on fathers day, Christmas, or on his birthday. Every year my mom insists I call him but I don't because I feel such an anger for him. I never was able to experience "daddy's little girl". I was just there. When I was born my dad was there at the hospital but when I turned 3 he made my twin brother and I get a dna test. I remember sitting there next to my mom and looking at this stranger who was suppose to be my father. My mom was glaring at him because he knew better. I have some memories of him. Like when he took us to Disney Land, Las Vegas, and Colorado one Christmas. One of the few memories I actually felt wanted by him. Even though he wasn't and still isn't the greatest of dads. I miss him and love him. I wonder if one day I'll be able to tell him that despite all the anger he has caused me.