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I had an affair with a ma...

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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on June 25th, 2008 at 8:11 PM


I had an affair with a married man (I'm married also) for one year that just ended with a second discovery by his wife. I wish that had never happened as I still love him so much and now we have promised to have no communication. Tomorrow will be two weeks since we last emailed, spoke or chatted. I'm very sad about the break up and wish everyone to know that when affairs end they hurt all involved and it's not something to toy with. Our began as strangers meeting and hoping to connect with no thought of the future and became lasting love that had to end because of life responsibilities. I hope that, at the very least, we are fond memories to each other although I think it will be much more than that and we will long for this relationship for many years to come.

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  1. bluejeanbaby8 - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by bluejeanbaby8 on June 26th, 2008 at 4:32 PM

    I feel bad for his wife because my first husband cheated on me. If you don't love your partners get divorced and move on. It's not fair to either person if you live a lie.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Posted by An EP User on June 27th, 2008 at 9:13 AM

    I'm sure your husband and your lovers wife have fond memories of this affair.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  3. FeelinFrisky - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by FeelinFrisky on July 17th, 2008 at 12:53 PM

    I think you two missed her point. That sometimes you act without thinking of the future and the result is that people can get hurt. Whether it's the hurt felt by betraying the spouses and their resulting pain after discovery or the hurt from the loss of love that once was.

    Reply | 5dislike | Flag

  4. latisha - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by latisha on September 25th, 2008 at 3:03 AM

    Why, if you love each other , can't you be together? Life is too short to spend it with the wrong person, so, you may have to hurt some people, but, in the long run you may truly be happy, is that worth passing up? I believe we should not live life and have it end with regrets! People get over hurt, and they move on and the hurt subsides, do people get over love or do they just choose to live without it, to sacrifice for others feelings, and forget their own. In the long run when it's too late you may be sorry. Follow your heart, not your guilty conscious. Hope I helped you feel better about this... Do whats right for "YOU"

    Reply | 16dislike | Flag

  5. PaperRoses - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by PaperRoses on

    You said a second discovery? She will always be watching him. You should probably just remove yourself from the situation. If he did love you he (and you) for that matter would make it work to be together. Not worry about 'life responsibilities'. You'll be surprised. You probably will never get over the relationship. And I'm sorry for that. Cheating is never good.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. km430 - 41-45 years old

    Posted by km430 on July 18th, 2009 at 4:30 PM

    having found out about my husband's affair, I cant even put into words how bad my heart aches... what happened to the marriage vows

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  7. littlebit26 - 36-40 years old

    Posted by littlebit26 on July 30th, 2009 at 4:20 PM

    I too had an affair years ago with my ex. He lived with the woman and we enjoyed 5 yrs together. I ended the relationship because I wanted more and did not want to resent him. 2 yrs after we split i was having a child with my boyfriend and my ex and I spoke. Turns out he had married the woman 3 yrs into our relationship and 6 months after our split his wife had 2 twin girls. That brought his total to 5 children(his present wife's only 2).During our final year together, he had attempted to reverse his vasectomy and they ended up doing in vitro fertilization. I broke up with my guy, and have recently picked up my ex as a lover. He swears he wants an exclusive sexual relationship with me, swears his wife absolutely hates sex(something he told me when we were having our initial affair, yet he married her). The man can literally curl my toes in bed and at this point in my life, don't want to live with or marry anyone, but i don't believe him on exclusivity. Since him and I weren't together he had 4 actual affairs and countless other partners. We too have had wonderful memories of our past affair and a couple of memorable encounters the past 2 months.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  8. Ready2BSingle - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by Ready2BSingle on August 17th, 2009 at 4:27 PM

    I'm still in the middle of the situation and it makes me sick to think of my life without him.

    Reply | 8dislike | Flag

  9. buttafliddd - 36-40 years old - female

    Reply by buttafliddd Feb 11th, 2012 at 9:52PM

    me too...its easy to judge when its not you. Love doesnt always make sense, it just is.

    Reply Delete

  10. PellF - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by PellF on August 30th, 2009 at 8:34 AM

    I agree. The same thing happened to me . Hugs x

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  11. dulcecoco - 26-30 years old

    Posted by dulcecoco on November 11th, 2009 at 9:52 PM

    I am currently having one and at the time. I thought my marriage was over but my husband decided to start trying to be a good husband and treat me better. Now I am caught in two lives and mostly feel alone, so I can only Imagine how it feels to want to speak with that person but be alone in the process. I dont have answers myself and If I could undo probably would.

    Reply | 5dislike | Flag

  12. btmomto4 - 36-40 years old

    Reply by btmomto4 Mar 27th, 2012 at 12:01PM

    I can so relate...

    Reply Delete

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