I hate my mother
. She has been a "functioning alcoholic" since I was born and probably before that. Some of my first memories would not be considered memories but more of emotions. The feelings of stress, anxiety, fear, and lonliness are what I know best. I grew up scared my mom would drink too much and die. I feared my mom would forget to pick us up from the babysitter after work because she was too busy drinking at the bar to ever remember her two daughters. I would feel such high anxiety when my dad left on his truck driving route because I felt unprotected. I was lonley because I did not want to have sleepovers or friends because my mom was such an embarrassment to me. Now I am 24 and I still have all these feelings. They won't leave and now I am over come with anger. I wish she would fall down the stairs and break her neck. I wish she would get into an accident while on the way to work. Then I would no longer have these horrible feelings inside me. She would be gone and so would they.