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I feel like I'm not a rea...

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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on June 27th, 2007 at 6:10 PM


I feel like I'm not a real person sometimes. I act perfectly normal on the outside. Inside I just feel like a shell that's empty and about to crack. I have no one who I could talk to about this, in the past that's done me no good anyway. I secretly yearn for someone to spill my guts out to. Maybe they could help me make sense of how I feel. Sometimes I feel like I'm a robot. A robot that needs to be reprogrammed because I have no idea what I'm doing. I experience things as if I'm a real person. One of my fears is that I'm not really here. What if I'm really dead and this is all a dream? How would I really know? What if I am the only thing in existance and all reality is just an illusion I created to fill up the space? I interact with everyone as if they are real, but how do I really know? What happens when we die? If none of this is real does that mean I would wake up? I feel like I really need help or something but talking to someone is not an option. I wonder if this make sense to anyone. Maybe I'm just an alien who is lost on Earth. I don't belong anywhere and don't fit in anywhere. It feels good to get this off my chest but it's scary too.

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23 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Piter - 21-25 years old - female

    Posted by Piter on June 28th, 2007 at 9:27 AM

    your suffering from existential depression, it's a recognised affliction, all depression requires a shift in perspective to free you from it - but you can be free from it. You are obviously a deep thinker and feel no-one understands you, but I can assure you, you are not alone, even if nobody says it.

    Touch and proximity to other human beings can help to ground you in reality a little better, maybe even just offering to help at an animal shelter or something so you can begin to become more integrated again. Please speak to someone professional so you can be free of this feeling and enjoy the rest of your life, everyone deserves that, you are no exception no matter how bad you feel

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  3. Honeysgirl - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by Honeysgirl on June 30th, 2007 at 7:32 AM

    I think we all feel that way and have those questions at one time or another in our lives. I think it is good to talk about these thoughts and feelings. Sure some will think you are strange because they have not got in touch with themselfs to ask these things, but by putting it out there you will be able to find people who understand. Does it really matter what the people who dont understand think? Get your thoughts out there and find some people that you can have open talks with about these things..... I promise you are not the only one!!!!

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  5. Honeysgirl - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by Honeysgirl on June 30th, 2007 at 7:34 AM

    One more thought.... try looking into some metaphysical stuff.... may help you find some of the answers your looking for

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  7. Inquisition - 41-45 years old - female

    Posted by Inquisition on July 1st, 2007 at 2:09 PM

    it's a great burden to be someone. your awareness is hurting you... that's why most watch TV and say commonplaces, and then if asked deny to have ever felt what you're feeling now.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  8. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  9. ChickenMan - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by ChickenMan on October 1st, 2007 at 9:14 PM

    You are not alone! I constantly have these thoughts too. If you believe in a divine presence that can be an absolute "yard stick" to measure yourself to or measure reality by. It is helpful to just let yourself accept what you are experiencing and to some extent "go with the flow" of life. I would be happy to chat some more anonymously.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  10. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  11. Dolarslave - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by Dolarslave on December 26th, 2007 at 8:04 AM

    Pease don't feel alone. I have the same feeling as you do and believe me,it is not easy and get worse from tme to time. I sometime don't know whee 'es to go and what to do.I don't know wat I did wrong, I believe I did my best to my family, but as they grown better, they dumped me off like a garbage.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  12. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  13. realityforme - 61-65 years old - female

    Posted by realityforme on December 26th, 2007 at 8:54 PM

    Hi,

    This is not unusual. It is a sign of depression. Depression and other mental illnesses are common on both sides of my family. Everyone suffering has been helped and even been able to get off the medication. There is only one nephew who will not seek help and he is still very ill. Very intelligent, but not well. Please go to your local mental health clinic. It is not necessary to live this way. We are so fortunate in this day and age to have cures.
    Take Care

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  14. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  15. KeepMySecrets - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by KeepMySecrets on June 13th, 2008 at 5:14 AM

    Please don't feel weird. I have some of the same thoughts. I don't know exactly how you feel because we are all differnt and I don't think anyone can really know what others are feeling, but I would like to think that we have somewhat of an idea of how other people feel. All of these thoughts and feelings suck. I don't know how to make the thoughts and feelings go away but I keep trying. I guess the best we can do is continue to find others who have the same thoughs and similar emotions and experiences. It was nice to read your confession because it is familiar to me.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  16. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  17. javainside - 41-45 years old

    Posted by javainside on August 6th, 2008 at 10:43 AM

    WOW, someone that feel the same as me.

    Sometimes I feel like I lost my soul I am trying on all different ones but none feel right. Like you are at a party and you go to leave but the closet is full of jackets the same as yours you try them on and they fit but none are yours you just know because it doesn't feel right. Will I ever find my jacket? I am tired of looking :(.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  18. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

  19. Diamond427 - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by Diamond427 on September 22nd, 2008 at 11:26 PM

    I feel like I am just simply going through the motions of every day life most of the time. I feel lost, out of place, left behind...It is hard to put into words. Everyone I know seems to have a purpose in life, I never thought I did. I love my grown children, and thier children, and are with them quite often....yet, I feel like an outsider on certain occasions. I have few friends anymore...I lost track of ones I had years ago, due to situations in my marriage and with my health. After my divorce, no one came around to see how I was or offer a hand up in helping me get back on track again. I always thought I was a good friend, a good person....yet, life was always taking more and more from me. I don't understand why I was dealt such a bad hand...was it fate? I am lonely, and feel like I have had a dark cloud over me since I was a small child. It is hard for me to see the bright side, when all I see is gray.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  20. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 28th, 2014 at 8:41PM

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

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