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RoaringFlameLostinShadow - male

Posted by RoaringFlameLostinShadow
on June 8th, 2011 at 10:10 PM

I remember when I first came to EP and how I viewed as a microcosm for life. It seemed that everything that happened in life got representation through EP. I was inspired to seek a family unit in EP, ironclad friendships that would last and endure through the ages. What a folly that was of mine for slowly my circle withered, dwindled to a mass of people admittedly that I didn't even know. To date, I've met two people through EP: the first meeting went well and we never spoke again, the second person who has met me as a result of EP has the singular distinction of being one of the few people to even see and make me cry. Although you would cry too I think if for a moment you thought that this would be your last chance to feel this particular feeling as I did. Yes, you have your oddball successful EP romance that plays out into real life and you even have a few who manage to make unbelievably successful connections offline as well as on but those are the exceptions to the rule rather than the standard. In the end, EP is kind of like a rehabilitation unit. The plan being to get you to a point where you can be self sufficient in life and not require EP in any really serious fashion. There are those who never reach that point. I saw someone on here one day who said and I quote 'they were not here to make friends' and true to their word - their circle was empty. Devoid of anyone in it, months ago this would have perplexed me and I would have been driven to challenge the presence of someone who wasn't prepared to be a productive member of the community. This time around, I understood perfectly her stance and I wondered how many other silent runners were out there. Writing but never communicating, opting to say their piece and remain ethereal and out of reach. I have a chance to meet some who are in my circle and after careful consideration, I confess I don't see myself meeting them. I wanted to get close for the longest time but I remind myself now that this is the internet  .  .  . at the end of the day, I know about as much of them as they do about me which is truly very little indeed when you don't spend serious regular time around someone. My point is why shred a blanket of anonymity now? I'm in rehab with the clearly stated goal being one day to not rely on EP. Yes some will scream 'if you don't like EP then get the f*** out of here' but it's really not a matter of liking or disliking EP. EP serves a function for now even if it is clouded and murky, until my life can be adjusted to fulfill those functions   .   .   .  EP is what I've got.

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7 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Posted by An EP User on June 8th, 2011 at 10:19 PM

    i have a felling i would like thie if i had the time to read it.. dee remind me later to read this.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. RoaringFlameLostinShadow - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by RoaringFlameLostinShadow on June 8th, 2011 at 10:25 PM

    And there lies the issue Dee wouldn't you agree? Calculate how much time you spend online compared with actual living and soon it becomes clear - you supplementing life with a vacuum called the internet.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  3. phoenixlight - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by phoenixlight on June 9th, 2011 at 7:31 AM

    I have been to a few sites that they don't get personal with anyone. Blogs mostly. I understand your concern. We shouldn't have to RELY on EP however, sometimes at the end of the day it's all you have to speak your piece. I couldn't believe that there were other women that felt like I did and I felt alone. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one having heartache. Even when I am happy It's good to spread a smile. <3


    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  4. RoaringFlameLostinShadow - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by RoaringFlameLostinShadow on June 10th, 2011 at 7:33 AM

    I am not criticizing, I just never mistake EP for the real world.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  5. Posted by An EP User on June 15th, 2011 at 1:20 PM

    yes i like the idea of ep being a halfway house of sorts. it is what it is and only becomes an issue when we want it to be something it is not.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. RoaringFlameLostinShadow - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by RoaringFlameLostinShadow on June 16th, 2011 at 1:47 AM

    Precisely Mr Coppercoil and like any good patient, I do intent to reach the outpatient section. I did want EP to be something more and that was where I made the mistakes. I paid dearly for them.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  7. RoaringFlameLostinShadow - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by RoaringFlameLostinShadow on October 8th, 2011 at 9:48 AM

    It is quite alright.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

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