and so im a horrible person (not really)

You didn't mention if your new love is married or not? You shouldn't feel guilty for reacting to someone who appreciates you. Your husband didn't. He had an agenda that was fulfilled. I understand this more than you know. Please don't run away or feel guilty over loving or being loved souly because your society says you should. You have been dealt an unfair deal in cards and now its a new game.

It sounds very much like you have found someone immensely better for you. The guilt is not surprising, the cultural disapproval of females in divorce/separation is pretty ferocious in bengali culture & the surrounds, but its undeserved - it doesnt sound to me as if you've done the least thing wrong here. Be gentle with yourself, and find yourself a new and happier life, one you deserve.



Your husband sounds like a real monster of ego and manipulation, and escaping him is a great and probably very difficult thing to achieve, all on its own.



Good luck, and contact me if you need an ear or advice, by all means

Life is dynamic with new opportunities and challenges always emerging, if you agree life is unpredictable, you will see this as an opportunity to restart what was lost