and so im a horrible person (not really)

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scandalouspeach - 26-30 years old - female

Posted by scandalouspeach
on October 29th, 2011 at 11:18 PM

i am an attractive woman. i have been told that i am beautiful, not that i believe it really. my husband wants nothing to do with me, especially after i have given birth to our son. it was as if his work was done. i will put in that i am in an arranged marriage.

i have been married for 7 years. my husband has been having affairs here and there. in a way i was numb of it, feeling that it was my place to just go on, that was until i met someone.

i am East Indian. he is Jewish. he is shorter than i, in a profession that is way beyond my experience. and he swept me off of my feet.

it was so much like a romance novel. it was as if he zoned in on me and never let go. i am still married, separated recently, and it is all so real and new. i have such feelings, but i must be rational.

why is it that i feel badly for falling in with a good man? my husband sleeps with anything that happens by. now we are at a crossroads, and i...hope that i might just have something:)

Vote up! 3

6 Comments (add your own)

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  1. dollysworld - 46-50 years old - female

    Posted by dollysworld on October 29th, 2011 at 11:33 PM

    You didn't mention if your new love is married or not? You shouldn't feel guilty for reacting to someone who appreciates you. Your husband didn't. He had an agenda that was fulfilled. I understand this more than you know. Please don't run away or feel guilty over loving or being loved souly because your society says you should. You have been dealt an unfair deal in cards and now its a new game.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  2. scandalouspeach - 26-30 years old - female

    Reply by scandalouspeach May 12th, 2012 at 12:08AM

    not married as present


  3. scandalouspeach - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by scandalouspeach on October 29th, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    nice analogy. he is divorced for many years.:) ready to move on. so am i.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Posted by An EP User on October 29th, 2011 at 11:41 PM

    It sounds very much like you have found someone immensely better for you. The guilt is not surprising, the cultural disapproval of females in divorce/separation is pretty ferocious in bengali culture & the surrounds, but its undeserved - it doesnt sound to me as if you've done the least thing wrong here. Be gentle with yourself, and find yourself a new and happier life, one you deserve.

    Your husband sounds like a real monster of ego and manipulation, and escaping him is a great and probably very difficult thing to achieve, all on its own.

    Good luck, and contact me if you need an ear or advice, by all means

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  5. bhusisa - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by bhusisa on May 11th, 2012 at 2:03 AM

    hey .. u seem like a brave lady..

    u shouldnt be caring a damn about your husband..

    if you think you would be happy with your new love.. go ahead and rejoice your life

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. moonshine101 - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by moonshine101 on July 27th, 2012 at 11:34 PM

    Life is dynamic with new opportunities and challenges always emerging, if you agree life is unpredictable, you will see this as an opportunity to restart what was lost

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  7. darkblueproton - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by darkblueproton on May 29th, 2013 at 6:49 PM

    Best of luck with a new life, have no guilt dear... you have one life, live it to the fullest.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

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