So I spend over the weekend helping my brother
for the wedding around siblings and relatives. Supposedly, I am sensitive when people treat me like a little kid. It literally upsets me and I'm trying so hard to bare with it and not show my emotion of how bad I want to ******* yell at my siblings and relatives of how they don't treat me as an adult when I'm 22 years old. I mean, what can't I not see to fit in that standard as an adult? It's like every word that's coming out of my mouth is not trusting or they don't give a crap what I say. They treat me like I'm some loser and look down. I guess I leave bad impression to people when I don't mean to give mean expression towards them. Sometimes I do try hard to put the effort of impression but I suck at it I guess. I'm just not good with people. I don't know how to socialize with them. I'm just too different. I don't fit in that I just want to run away or kill myself. I don't have anybody I can trust to talk to. I don't want to hear this small common sense bullshit. It's not my fault for having such a heavy disease I carry. I wish someone out there knew my pain. I'm so labeled to my hometown that I just want to simply run away and live my own life and never ever see them again. No matter how much they support and care for me, I can never seem to embrace them. It's still the same and getting worse. It's also strange how few of them ask me if I had fun at the wedding. I lied that I said yeah I had fun. sigh... It's really complicated.