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Heart Broken

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seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime - 36-40 years old - female

Posted by seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime
on January 11th, 2012 at 1:01 AM


I was bored one night and decided to go into a chat room.I started talking to someone and less then a week later I  bumped into him again and he admitted that he was over the moon to find me again. He is very attractive, funny, smart and fun. It started out as harmless flirting and we both loved every minute of it. One bond we shared was that we were both in long term relationships and unhappy. He ended his after one month of talking to me because he realized that someone other then the relationship could make him happy again and alive.. I felt exactly the same.


For three months we chatted online and Skyped as well. We had a great time every day for minutes or hours just chatting, laughing, etc and both of us were extremely attracted to each other. And then it happened, we told each other we wanted to be with each other and the L word came. Very intense. So much so that I told him I would come and visit him next month. He lives in another country and I was ready to hop on a plane and stay with him for two weeks just to be near him. We made plans of what we would do, where we would go, etc.. . 

Well, I got cold feet, common sense and my gut feeling told me not to rush even though my hormones were in hyper drive. I then decieded it would be better for us to wait because he had some personal things he was working on (he recently left a long term relationship 30 days after we started chatting) This really upset him and that I had changed my mind. A couple of days later, his behaviour became unstable with a series of events and he has basically ignored me. He wants nothing to do with me.. My heart hurts. 

 I question how someone can love me and want to be with and then just as quickly ignore me, give me the cold shoulder, etc.  

I miss him. It hurts. We talked briefly today and as I made conversation he asked me why I was asking me why all the questions. I told him that I was making conversation, etc. He got flippant with me and logged off.

Rejection sucks and I feel as though he didnt feel the way I did. Was I just a game to this man or something to occupy him for the moment:? 

There are more details but everything is raw right now and I don't want to share to that extent. 

How do I get over this crappy feeling?!?!

Vote up! 2

5 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Posted by An EP User on January 11th, 2012 at 3:24 AM

    Time. The only thing that truly heals the heart. Distance from him helps, believe me. Taking up a hobby will help. Taking an odd class or two. DO things for yourself and step away from the situation. Learn from it what is positive and leave the rest. Grow from it. Now you know that there no reason to remain in a painful relationship and that you have the freedom to move on. If he could cast you aside so easily, he wasn't someone you needed to be with. Be glad your cold feet spared you deeper pain down the road. I wish you peace and joy.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 26th, 2014 at 8:22AM

  3. Earthen - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by Earthen on January 11th, 2012 at 3:43 AM

    It's hard to know who someone truly is online. Maybe he went back to his previous relationship?

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 26th, 2014 at 8:22AM

  5. rhode - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by rhode on January 11th, 2012 at 5:48 AM

    Your hut reaction was absolutely correct! His behaviour would have emerged at any time you could have been with him - lucky escape!  

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 26th, 2014 at 8:22AM

  7. seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime on January 14th, 2012 at 1:38 AM

    After I had been virtually dumped I thought that was it. Tonight we chatted for a good while and he told me how busy he had been starting his new job. Now i feel like an *** because I've been chatting to someone else and he wants to come and see me.. My hormones, heart and head are in conflict right now.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  8. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 26th, 2014 at 8:22AM

  9. seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by seemedlikeagoodideaatthetime on July 3rd, 2012 at 10:07 PM

    I never heard from him again since Valentine's Day when I found out that he was chatting someone in another country! It now seems like a lifetime ago! I am now with someone else and I am moving out on my own. There is a part of me that wishes him well and wish him happiness no matter how ****** he treated me. I guess he will continue looking..

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  10. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 26th, 2014 at 8:22AM

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

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