Posted by jeremyleaves
on February 22nd, 2012 at 3:24 AM
I once loved so deeply it almost consumed me. After all that forgiveness was beyond me. It is one of my weak points. Without betrayal I have few flaws. But still I wonder.. If it all might have been salvageable. But a true heart shouldn't have to expect to need to forgive. Should it? I have never left something dying on my doorstep. Nor have I been kind to that broken thing crawling back to it. I guess I am as confused as anything. Confused as is capable. But still I wonder. I try to better myself. So that if that moment comes I will know the difference. between that, and many a thing. And perhaps maybe I contemplate too hard. I have readied myself for the harsh life ahead. Ready for whatever comes. I don't believe in love; but I Know I once did. I know It wasn't a matter of believing; I just knew. Any thoughts? I find it difficult ignoring my mind and my heart. But I also know that I shouldn't have really sacrifice if it is real. That it will be as natural as breathing. But I don't expect anything. I just live, every day. I feel like a widower. Like the love I once had, just died one day. The only tragedy is that the other person stopped seeing in me; what I saw in them. The coldness and disconnectedness I experienced that day, I well expect to haunt me until I die again. But who knows.. not me.. I never lost control..
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