I USED TO CUT!!!!!!!!!!

I started cutting when i started middle school, that was 9 years ago and stopped cutting about 4 years ago it was hard to just stop and no one even knew i was doing it i was caught once and had to talk to a school counsler and my dad but i told them i would stop and i didnt. When i decided to stop it was always on my mind and i just stopped thinking about it maybe 2 years ago and now for some reason that is unknown to me i started to think about doing it again life is going well and i have nothing to complain about except the fact that i have the urge to cut again i know i dont need to and i know that i can stop myself but it was my way of expressing myself for so long that i guess i just want to fall back to it i know that i have so many people that i can talk to but it just sounds better to start cutting again. I didnt do it for attention or because i wanted to die (because i didnt) it was my outlet and sometimes i think it is easier to hide how i feel and cut then to talk but i dont want to go back to doing that. before i stopped cutting i started to smoke and now i am quiting that maybe this is part of why i want to cut