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Stop telling kids how awful their other parent is.

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ionizedTeslacoil - 18-21 years old - male

Posted by ionizedTeslacoil
on March 19th, 2012 at 9:12 AM

Younger children identify themselves with their parents, they don't fully extend themselves as individuals until later years. So when you tell them how awful their father/mother is, regardless of circumstance, then you're actually attacking who they are as people and undercutting their self worth. So stop it, I don't care how messy your divorce is, or how big of a drug addict their other parent is. Safe that information for when they're able to handle it.

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  1. BlueberryAngel - 16-17 years old

    Posted by BlueberryAngel on March 19th, 2012 at 11:03 AM

    that's very true. when i was younger everybody around me (mostly my governess) would tell me how horrid my father was and how i should forgive him for his arrogance but i knew they were just jealous and as a small child i didn't know much about this subject until my father tried to suicide right after my mother died. that's when it just snapped and it was kind of like... i was set in childish mode and i suddenly switched to grownup mode. i started to realize so many things around me and think much more than normal children would at my age. i knew when people were lying to me about my family and i started to sense different emotions very quickly. my friend told me i was no fun to be around with because i would always talk "grownupy" - as she called it. all this started to unravel itself just because a group of people accused my father to be disloyal and dangerous.

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  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 6:15PM

  3. ionizedTeslacoil - 22-25 years old - male

    Reply by ionizedTeslacoil Mar 19th, 2012 at 2:05PM

    Sorry you had to go through that.


  4. BlueberryAngel - 16-17 years old

    Reply by BlueberryAngel Mar 20th, 2012 at 11:29AM

    yeahh i guess it could be a good thing because... my mind "developed" earlier than most but there are certainly pros and cons.


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