Denying the truth

now I feel like crying. I am so sorry.

It is common to feel that way when getting off of opiates and then trying to chase it away with other things. I am just coming out of where you are not that long ago. Heroin is the worst because of the sickness and pain pills are basically the same thing though the withdrawls are not near as bad. Honestly I used other things to get through the withdrawls and the depression it takes like three to six months for you to start producing your endorphines again at the right levels. Coming off anything other than heroin is a piece of cake in my book I can deal with the emotional swings because I know that it is me coming off and not real. Sure enough it goes away. As cliche as it sounds I can do anything for a day so I sufffer the day and then the next comes and if needed i suffer just that one day too until I reach the turn around. Then cloud nine then another drop into reality like my court this week probably going to jail.............consequences suck but they are mine to have and are of my own making. You can do this if you choose to it's hard I know. If you keep going all the "never wills" will be done and you will not make it back. You know all those things you saw others do and said "I would NEVER do that" how many have you done? How many more do you want to do because they are there waiting for you to do them.

Poppytalk





An exciting trip of happiness,

A ruse of flower buds

On a train, with too few stops

A wreaking smell above



The smell of death of others

That die along the way

Masked by flower nectar

Few will walk away



Hearing happy people

The new rider will be taught

He finds himself drawn into it

It’s all just poppytalk



Avoiding all the windows

No one wants to see

Out there is the truth

The sad realities



As time slips by unnoticed

Seduced into the fold

A peek out of the windows

Cause shivers, of the cold



Payment is required

Futile struggle will ensue

One by one the “never wills”

Are done to pay the dues



Trip of hidden nightmares

Few stops along the way

Insanity, the iron doors

Are stops that pause the pay



One more stop, that’s hidden

Just one before the last

The only hope for any

Get off before it’s past



Those that jump have hope

Truth is most won’t stay

The lure of the trip they had

Pulling them away



Destiny for those that hang

They stay until the end

Those who left, are working hard

For any chance to mend



Higher than the twins once stood

The track composed of lies

Demise the destination

They keep on getting high



Millions watched in horror

When two towers fell

The riders of the train don’t know

They are in that kind of hell



Those that love the riders

Watch in horror too

With guarded care they watch

Riders fates will match the two



Help no longer possible

Watched with pain and love

Only one can save them

Most don’t hear the One above



Choices now removed from them

Fate controls their ride

Sadly it’s a quiet thing

And most just let it slide



Riders who, reach the end

Find themselves alone

No one there to give a care

Too late to get back home



If any left that love them

Ones who hoped and tried

Watch with tears of anguished hearts

The Conductor joins the ride



The Conductor, loves His children

Though some do go astray

Tears roll down His cheeks

On their darkest day



The decision has been made

A rider hearing Him this time

The voice of all authority

The Conductor starts to shine



With a fathers voice

He summons, It’s heard this time

Another rider off to ever, hearing:

“End of the line!”









P.G.

You use the word "honest" alot in your writing. start by being conscious of what comes out of your mouth. Those who tell you they are honest are most likely not. This is a good time for you, I think you may be finally waking up.