I guess u reap what u sow...
Posted by Anonymous
on December 5th, 2008 at 12:07 PM
I guess u reap what u sow.... I had an affair with a woman early on in my marriage. it lasted 6 or 7 months , we got along greatand things were getting pretty heated so we decided that we should call it quits before it got too far, Nobody knew and I buried it from there.. fast -forward 8+ years and I get contacted by children's services that I have an 8 yr old daughter out there that I've never met. The mother doesn't want anything from me nor does she want her daughter to have anything to do with me, I think "that's fine", no harm , no foul we'll just go on with ourlives, ONE big problem, the mother is not working, on social assistance so I have to start paying... I haven't told my wife yet because I fear it would completely destroy my marriage and family and yet in a way I'd llove for her to be part of our family.. I'm caught between a rock and a hard place. I'm paying $500 / month for a child who doesn't know I exits and who's mother will do whatever she can to keep her from me because she's afraid to lose her... This really sucks...
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Posted by dttx on December 5th, 2008 at 12:28 PM
what a b1tch women can be
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Posted by graple on December 5th, 2008 at 1:47 PM
Before you start paying money first make sure this child is really yours. Just because a woman says you are the father doesn't mean it's true. This process is gonna mean getting things out in the open with your wife, but, hey she is gonna eventually notice that $500 is missing from the family budget every month, right?? Don't let her find out on her own, talk to your wife and yeah, more than likely she is gonna be angry and really hurt and she might decide to end the marriage, or she might surprise you and rally to your side, but, the thing is to cross each bridge as you come to it, handle things one at a time. Good luck to you.
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Posted by rusted on December 6th, 2008 at 9:43 AM
Why did it take her 8 years?? Be sure to have a paternity test done to be sure. Before you write a check.
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Posted by paulinlv on December 6th, 2008 at 12:28 PM
While your wife will be hurt to learn that you had an affair 8 years ago, she will be MORE hurt to learn that after 8 years of marriage, you are still hiding the present situation with her. I think you need to come clean with your wife, as difficult as that will be. And if you are paying child support, you have every right to have that child in your life.
One last thing. If you start to pay child support, and then find out through a paternity test that the child is not yours, some judges will still make you continue to pay child support, since you had already taken on support of the child.
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