Uncertainty

I fear everything. Beyond all sense and reason, I fear the future, I fear that I will never find my soul mate, i fear that I will fail, I fear that i will disappoint others. I fear my own fear. My future is so planned out and "solid" that I constantly fear that I will screw it up. I know that worrying incessantly about anything and everything does little to no good, but i can't help myself. I don't know how to just turn myself loose. I have no idea what it feels like to just go with the flow. I'm not a control freak, but I am so used to doing my best and achieving my goals that I have set my own bar too high, and I don't know how I'm going to handle it when i finally fail for real. I know that nobody's perfect, but it doesn't make me feel much better about my previous failures. I also psych myself out because I worry so much. Sometimes I literally am sick with fear or guilt and there's no way to curb it. Even now, I'm worried about what my incessant and irrational fears are going to do to my life five or ten years down the road. Will I be so fearful and untrusting that I'll kill my dream of being truly loved? Will i begin a career and fail because I can't handle the stress? Will I struggle in college and lose all of my scholarships and make no friends? And most importantly, will I disappoint my family and myself? I don't want any of these things to happen, but I'm afraid that if I keep dwelling on them they will come true. I can't stop worrying!