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tawam - 36-40 years old - male

Posted by tawam
on May 2nd, 2012 at 1:08 PM


As i have been alot of pain in the past and other events n my life i thought i am so strng to face another battl that will affect our entire family,and a as a TRAINED MEDIC this kind of problem should be a simple matters,but i was wrong when a FAMILY MEMBER is the one that has a problem not just a simple problem bu a TERMINAL ILLNESS its so painful and it hurts alot and ths is what our Professors us to say when the time one of your FAMILY is in trouble medically its hard for you to concentrate and do it in proper way as you do when it was not your family involved and this will affect your heart and mind because sometimes you refuse to accept the fact it happens,now afte all the years that i have alot of ups an downs i never think this will make me vulnerable and crush my inpenetrable wall that i thought im so strong and mighty enough to face all kinds of problems.
As im not an atheist person though i have others that contradict my belief i still believe tat God has all the powers to heal everyone and that i know by heart and mind and with this im hoping God will spare my son for this catastrophic events that will cause us somuch pain in the end,for the past few days i was not sleeping well and sleepless nights because i kept thinking what and why is my son got this kind of illness when all the money i could provide and al the care we did and even give the best of everything and suddenly it will put all of us down and give us sufferings that will break us all into pieces.
Im a Medic and as an expert in handling traumatic events i thought im already immune to this kind of problem but i was wrong im also human that i feel so sad and hurt and cannot accept why it happen though i never show it to other peole that i feel weak and having alot of thoughts in my mind why it was my son when he is the only one and i dont like to blame God nor all my family what happen to him,its really so painful to think knowing for the coming days and months it will be so hard for us all,how i could face this kind of problem when i go home,how i will think what it happen and everywhere  look at ill se my son smiling and all that he do,how ill face at the end i dont even know?
Im not a perfect person like nobody else i make mistakes in life and i never feel bad why i did it and feel sorry but as a father to my son and to my family i am very responsible da that all i do and sacrificed myself just to give them luxuries that will give their faces smile,buy things my family will be hapy about,so i guess having this kind of sacrifices hels relieve life hardship and give light and make us confortable.i am wrong as now just all of a sudden all the things planned is now going to be wishes and not to happen,but yes as i believe God merciful help so i dn ask why and instead pray that omehow God will give extension to my son life and if ill change plces for that i guess ill aceept it and suffer for all the mistakes i make and just to give extension to my son life i wont feel bad because i know somehow God give another chance for him ,i am writing this because at the end nobody will  know what will be the outcome of the treatment but if ever i will always feel the pain inside of me why it does happen and i hope one day i will understand and able to overcome the most and the hardest trials that we face today......so i ask you friends for a little prayer for the recovery of my beloved sn who doesnt even know what his illness all about....thanks and hope God mercy on us.....

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4 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Posted by An EP User on May 2nd, 2012 at 7:58 PM

    Nobody can be prepared for this kind of news, Tawam. You are a father first, before you are a medic. The love you have for your son, outweighs every thing else in life. I pray for a successful treatment for your precious son, and strength for you and your family to find comfort and hope in your faith.

    Blessings and love ~ Cari

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 18th, 2014 at 7:46AM

  3. tawam - 36-40 years old - male

    Reply by tawam May 3rd, 2012 at 1:26AM

    thanks cari and i really appreciate this and to all that feel sad with me and pray for his recovery thanks alot.

    Reply

  4. Posted by An EP User on May 2nd, 2012 at 8:52 PM

    i am so very sorry to hear it.........i pray that he gets well, and trust god......my mother says he is never unfair.........he might torture you or gives you troubles but he never leaves you...........i will pray for both you and your son......!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  5. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 18th, 2014 at 7:46AM

  6. tawam - 36-40 years old - male

    Reply by tawam May 3rd, 2012 at 1:22AM

    thanks alot

    Reply

  7. allsosad - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by allsosad on May 11th, 2012 at 3:10 PM

    tawam i have lost a son and a grand daughter the pain was like nothing that i ever felt in my life. I had to be strong for the rest of my kids i had to hold back and be that wall that they all come to. I was being tortured in side. When everyone else were starting to pull together i feel a part i just couldn't stop my pain from coming through. I was lost and i didn't know if i would ever come back to my self. Yes i to would of changed places with ether one of them but it was out of my control i couldn't fix what happen to all of us. I have said to you that you would be in my prayers and so you have been.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  8. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 18th, 2014 at 7:46AM

  9. tawam - 36-40 years old - male

    Reply by tawam May 11th, 2012 at 7:02PM

    thanks andi appreciaed that....

    Reply

  10. ronickakishi - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by ronickakishi on June 11th, 2012 at 8:57 AM

    i'm so sorry to hear that. Keep your faith high, and I know everything will be fine at the end of the road.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  11. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 18th, 2014 at 7:46AM

  12. tawam - 36-40 years old - male

    Reply by tawam Jun 11th, 2012 at 1:42PM

    tnx roni..i never lose my faith and i always believe everything is with reasons....

    Reply

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