Life

It will be very interesting to look back on these online diaries sometimes in the future.  Perhaps when I am in college as I said I wanted to do.  I was considering an early out program but I think I just might be backing out.  There are yet many paychecks I can still receive while in and that is definitely one incentive.  I just get tired of the judgemental people at my cmd.  These same people who are self proclaimed christians.  They annnoy me so much.  I still have trouble getting over the fact on how much we change with time.  It is just truely remarkable.  When we look back and see how far we have come from whatever.  I do believe that whatever goes around also comes around.  What you throw out there will come back to you eventually.  It does not matter what it is.  It can be anything.  When we are impatient with others, it comes back to us.  Not just the negatives but also the positives.  Just as with hsu, the same with the military and the navy.  I will miss the people.  There are some that have already come and gone.  I miss them also.  Even if you dont move on with your life, others will.  Either way, people move on regardless it be you or somebody else.  Things are always changing.  Who truely knows the future except god.  I know I dont.  I am not even for sure what life is even about and I am  not going to go about pretending to know.  I know of many who do.  Usually these are the self proclaimed christians that I keep talking about.  I sometimes have them come up to me and wanting to preach to me and in order to get them to go away I tell them I am a satanist.  So far it works.  They act as though they are afraid all of a sudden and jump back as if I were a rattlesnake.  I do know that there is so much that we do not know.  We think we know so much but in truth we dont.  From what we do know, it is just a small fraction compared the the whole thing.  I've realized that we change everyday regardless we know it or not.  Over a span of time, it equals very much.  I used to go about complaining about money issues when I was new at being out on my own because I thought it was difficult to change spending patterns.  I think all that is happening and or has happened is ok and was to be expected.  In other words, it was prepared for already.  In the end, everything is going to be ok.  Not because of just me and my actions but also because there are forces at work that are beyond my ability to understand.  These same forces determine everything else.  We do have some degree of control over our lives but in truth I still believe in fate.  I do think some things are simply meant to be and other things not meant to be.  Whatever happens simply happens.  Everyday is an opportunity for change.  Much of our lives is actually beyond our control.  We can only control so much and we only know so much.  Everything else is depended upon fate and or god.  Some people may disagree and that is ok.  My experiences in life have caused me to think this.  Who knows the day that they die or will die.  Who has come close to death and lived to tell about it.  I life changing experience.  You can be a very different person by the end of the week, nevermind twenty years.  Just study history.  Look at what all has happened before us.  We are always learning and adapting.  There is a bigger picture.