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maskus - 18-21 years old - male

Posted by maskus
on May 20th, 2012 at 6:33 AM

We talk, we laugh , we find out more and more about the other person, I let down my defences every word I get more comfortable, not like most people me and her, talking about space stars and love... We remain in this state for hours, my head spins from thoughts and figures, my hands remain placed on my own lap, my eyes stay fixed on hers, my sence of humour on fire with all the blaze that two people share when they are happy.

Now here is the drop, the cold water, the reality affect, she is engaged to be married, but since I started talking to her, there is something different about her, she fills every part of me with a different sensation that is not normal dry love, not a normal emotion, a darker side, a darker side of love.

Once she leaves. I think and I write and I listen to nothing, the sound of silence, I have gotten myself into this battlefield and I either fight my way out and end up feeling low and forgotten, or I fight for this woman that has made plans to spend the rest of her life with another man, either way I walk away or I become a home wrecker.

The next morning reality has set in, heavy and cold. Heavy and cold it remains on me, her lips and eyes imprinted on my mind, the way she carries her words, the air is thin here and it does not change.

"If I faulted let me know, I don't want to swim the ocean, I don't wanna fight the tide, I don't want to swim forever, when it's cold I'd like to die"

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