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Broken....

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andy6336 - 18-21 years old - male

Posted by andy6336
on May 25th, 2012 at 6:52 AM


I did it....i broke my no-cutting streak and cut last night. But i had to...i mean it was going to happen eventually but i had been holding it off for a couple months. Thers only so much that you can go through before the stress and pain eases over the top. It wasnt real deep. Im sorry for breaking my promise.....

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  1. LKB4ULP - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by LKB4ULP on May 25th, 2012 at 8:10 AM

    Know the wonderful thing, Andy6336? You can start again!! You may have cut last night, but today is a new day, My Friend. One day at a time!! You will make it through the day, and tomorrow, decide to make it thru tomorrow....you can overcome this...and never be afraid to reach out, there are those of us that care!

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  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 17th, 2014 at 3:36PM

  3. babyjoon - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by babyjoon on May 25th, 2012 at 10:31 AM

    I can't say that I know exactly what it's like, but I am a recovering alcoholic. I am only 35 and I buried my husband a year ago (fellow alcoholic) because he refused to fight. He chose defeat and didn't even try to stop drinking, all the way to death.

    You are fighting and you have nothing to be sorry for. It is hard for me to write this, because I don't pretend to have all the answers, but I am healthy now and happy and, though I have drank a few times, I can't remember the last time I was drunk, and my direction, not my perfection, is evident to everyone around me.

    The main thing that made me want to reach out to you is that, just a few hours ago, a friend who knew me when I was drunk every day (not every day, just one, long, drunk for weeks at a time) asked me what changed? Why I am a different person. Two things that made a big difference. I started focusing on what TO do rather than what NOT to do. I started gardening, volunteering, writing, exploring art, etc...every time I need an outlet now, I choose one of these things and DO them, hard and long and even a bit over the top, but I am safe there and hours and days are filled with, though some might call them eccentricities, they give me purpose and I feel farther and farther from the person who drank days away. I am used to being sober now, and active and interested, where I was used to being drunk before.

    The second is that I quit believing the lie that this disease (similar to what you wrote) tells me, that I am going to do it again anyway, may as well be now.) No matter our affliction, I believe the lie is the same. Our brains will conspire against us, with our addiction, and tell us to just give in. It is inevitable anyway. I am learning to say fine, If it's inevitable, it will have its day, but that time is not now and it is not today. I have stuff to do. I will cross that bridge when I come to in, but that is not now and NOT today, and then go pick one of my TO DOs and do it. Sometimes I come on here, to EP and just take interest in others and learn from them and also write to them to encourage them. It helps to get out of ourselves. If you ever need someone, feel free to reach out. You are going to be just fine if you just put one foot in front of the other. Don't believe any lies that come at you when you are tempted. The Bible tells us that "No temptation has seized you, except what is common to man, and God is faithful. He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, and when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out, so that you can stand up under it." Look for a way out in those moments, believing that God is faithful and the way out is there.

    Love, joy and peace to you, sweetheart.

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  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 17th, 2014 at 3:36PM

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