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VayaKilljoy - 18-21 years old - female

Posted by VayaKilljoy
on June 15th, 2012 at 1:12 PM


I don't miss my mum.
She died a month ago and i never cried, never worried that she died.
Well, ok, i cried in the funeral, but, except that, i never cried again.
I can easily spend hours in the room she died, when my dad can't even make a step in.
I believe that i never loved her.
People tell me that it's normal, that i don't feel that bad at first, but it's been 43 days.
But i can't stand thinking i didn't love her.
I mean, when she had to stay in the hospital and it was like 4 or 5 days and i missed her.
I spent 23/24 hours a day with her. I couldn't imagine my life without her, even when she was so sick she couldn't speak.
I don't know how things are gonna end up.
Maybe, if i read this confession in a year, i'll realize i was wrong and delete it.
But maybe i'll contintue to feel the same way.

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1 Comment (add your own)

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  1. barbieindreamworld - 18-21 years old

    Posted by barbieindreamworld on June 15th, 2012 at 4:07 PM

    it's shocking... But i think you just hide the feelings..and it is no problem..but..if you hide all of the emotions..you will may have fustrated..(sorry.im not english..but maybe you understand that.. i hope!)

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 18th, 2014 at 6:54AM

  3. VayaKilljoy - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by VayaKilljoy Jun 15th, 2012 at 4:09PM

    If i want to feel sorry, why would i hide it from myself? Anyway, thnx for commenting

    Reply

  4. barbieindreamworld - 18-21 years old

    Reply by barbieindreamworld Jun 15th, 2012 at 4:12PM

    you are a good person,anyway... i think this feelings are under the surface..and if you will have another shocking situation..maybe appear..and you will cry... it is a hard situation..but on the other hand.. you feel the emptyness in your heart,arent you?(sorryformy bad english..)

    Reply

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