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BloodOnLace - 18-21 years old - female

Posted by BloodOnLace
on June 19th, 2012 at 3:36 PM


I did it all to keep you alive and make sure YOU'd be able to move on at least one day sooner than me.
I saved YOU , I fought for YOU and what do you do .... you only let the fear of something unknown control you.
You are STILL only dying a little more everyday. YOU were the only reason I didn't just try to do it , I DID IT !
Why can't you just this one time do me a favor
and let me out of this role , I'm getting tired 
I'm empty
I'm dying 'cause of you
Because I care ! I don't have enough love in me to care about anyone else 
I need you to stay alive  so I can live for long enough to find something else to live for 
I know I should live for myself but how could I when all I can think of is if you'll be dead by the time I come back home again.
You brought the war with you , you brought the old me with you .... you brought the loving me with you.
I can't be cold because you remind me of something I once tried to be
something that was alive and smiled from the right things
I never cried when I held your hand in the ambulance
I never shed a tear , I never let the weakness out , I never let it take my hope away ... 
but why are you taking it away ? why are you taking your life away 
why can't you see I am this cold blooded monster just because of you , I'm ready to be judged by the whole world 
I'm willing to waste my life away
I'm numbing heart
I'm fighting not to care about anything else 
and it is all for you.
So I'd always have that little love in me left for you.
You are the reason why I'm still here, WHY CAN'T YOU SMILE FOR ME PLEASE SAY NO TO THE SICKNESS AND THE FEAR AND TAKE MY HAND
HOLD ON TO ME AGAIN
TRUST ME AGAIN
BELIEVE WHAT I TELL YOU AGAIN
LIVE FOR ME AGAIN 
Because you are the only one able to do that. It's too late for me. Please I beg you stop killing me....
I'd kill to see you smile without having to look at the cuts and tears through my fingers
I'd kill everyone
I'd destroy everything so you'd be safe and you again ...... please come back....
Be my sister again.

<3

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