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Should I keep her or let her go?

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Lilg7 - 18-21 years old - female

Posted by Lilg7
on July 31st, 2012 at 9:23 PM


My mom has been emotionally abusive nearly my whole life. When I lived with her she completely neglected me. I was 12 and she left me home alone fore weeks on end and when she was home she was always pointing out what I did wrong. She would leave me with lists of chores (I'm talking unnatural chores for a 12 year old to do alone like heavy yard work and deep cleaning kind of thing chemicals and power hose and all) and then she judges me saying that I can't do anything right.. Nothing was perfect for her. She would get mad at me when i got a B in school, saying I would never amount to anything. Recently I dropped from Honors studies to regular to save my grade and she flat out told me that I was worthless and no matter what I did I would never understand it because I am stupid. To get away from her I moved in with my father. He preaches about family values and no matter what happens that is our family. She is my only mother and I am her baby regardless of what she ever said or done to me. Now she moved out of state and we are still in contact. When she talks to me its like she really is my mother. Granted I know that there is underlining reason to this. She wanted custody of me and my dad is flat broke, Apeal to the judge kind of thing. Or that's what I think. She is currently being a good mother to me calling me baby and saying that she loves me and misses me. I recently went to go see her and while we were together she fell back into old habits. playing mind games with me pushing me around emotionally. I didn't want to see her because she blew off my brothers graduation and made me tell him that she chose me over him and that hurt like hell. Hurt him more then me though. So my question is, should I just drop her, cut ties never speak to her again or try, like my dad says, to work through it. Talk to her about it and let her know how I feel?

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  1. mavrick0417 - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by mavrick0417 on July 31st, 2012 at 10:14 PM

    Lilg7,



    I read your story, and I would say that it sounds to me like she has no positive things to say or do for you. I know she is your mother, but, NO ONE needs to hear or go through verbal abuse. In my opinion, if you think about her and can overall find no positive things that she does for you, then cut ties and let her go. Your parents are supposed to bring you up, NOT tear you down. This is my advise, and I don't want you to go around in circles trying to figure this out. Life is to short to waste time. I hope you will take it. I do believe that some things can be worked though, but in this case, it sounds like it repeats itself, and you have to break the cycle. None of us are made to be dumped on, we are not door mats, we are made in God's image, and he does not make things that deserve to be treated badly. As for your Mom, I hope and pray that she can open her eyes and see what she is doing wrong, and fix it. You can't change anyone, they have to want to change themselves. You deserve to be loved, and be given praise, and all the good things in life. To dwell on the bad is a waste of time and effort.



    Love and Blessings to you and your family,



    David

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 25th, 2014 at 10:27PM

  3. cutiemariya - 16-17 years old

    Posted by cutiemariya on August 1st, 2012 at 12:17 AM

    cut ties. still hold her in your heart though. love at a distance. most people dont change so dont hope for her to change. live your life . be hasappy. good luck.  

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  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 25th, 2014 at 10:27PM

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