I can't fight the urge to use heroin

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keithstone248 - 26-30 years old - male

Posted by keithstone248
on August 10th, 2012 at 6:43 PM

I have been an alcoholic and drug user for years. I started smoking marijuana and drinking at 14-15, and by 16 I was using cocaine ans smoking crack on a very regular basis. My drinking spiraled out of control by the time I was 19 and I don't think I will ever stop. I have tried about every drug there is, but there is no monster compared to heroin.
I didn't start using heroin until about a year ago. I started out snorting it, and before long I was shooting up on a daily basis. I have calmed down a lot and rarely boot, only snort and not everyday. I stopped and withdrawled because I saw what it was putting my mother and family through and I really want to stay away from it, I just can't seem to.
Many of my friends don't know I am into it or they would cut me off, but the ones that do are hard to stay away from and I can always find some if I need it.
I don't really know where I'm going with this I just need to get it off my chest. If anyone has any advice please let me know.
BTW please don't say go to rehab, I've been through a few over the years for my drinking and still keep going back.
Well that's it.
DO NOT reply just to tell me I'm a looser or a junkie. If you have nothing better to do with your time than bash people online, you are more pathetic than I am!

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3 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Ubigwigdus - 26-30 years old

    Posted by Ubigwigdus on August 10th, 2012 at 6:47 PM

    Tough one bruv,

    i have family experience ( my Dad) was into it big style til his girl OD'd but he just needed to want to get off it and had a very good friend to help. family was not an option for him as he was shamed but it all came good and we are back as best mates. if you want to sort it out you will do but a GOOD friend will make it easier.

    All the best

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 26th, 2015 at 6:43PM

  3. Saxonen - 36-40 years old - male

    Posted by Saxonen on August 10th, 2012 at 6:48 PM

    Well i can't offer advice, having no experience in the field. However i wish you all the best of luck. I think its good at least you see it as a problem you want to try getting through.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 26th, 2015 at 6:43PM

  5. OmegaWizard - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by OmegaWizard on August 10th, 2012 at 6:55 PM

    Getting past denial of a problem is the first stage in fixing it, and you seem to have won that part of the battle. There is nothing that none of us can realistically advise if rehab doesn't do you any good. I guess it boils down to a matter of how badly you want to change, and how much you are willing to exercise your will to make it happen. I hope that you can find the strength within yourself to become the person that you want to be.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 26th, 2015 at 6:43PM

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

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