Going Crazy

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kateegirl - 18-21 years old - female

Posted by kateegirl
on August 13th, 2012 at 2:48 AM

I feel like I have reached my limit. I suffer from depression and an anxiety disorder and one of my biggest issues is self loathing. I will get so upset at myself that I get into hige panic attacks and have a strong desire to self mutilate... Cutting, alcohol,, anything to get the edge of and calm down.

Right now I live with my mom and younger sister who is bipolar and has border line personality disorder... and somehow they manage to consistently make me feel like I am dirt. It is hard enough fighting myself when I feel like I'm no good, but to.fet that from your family? And it's always over the stupidest things, I know that I am a good oerson and yet they always assume the worst in me and treat me like I'm a horrible person.

I've just about had enough, that the majority of my panic attacks these days are triffered by their treatment towards me or upset at myself for upsetting or disappointing them when I've really done nothing wrong. I feel like I'm falling apart fromt he inside out.

I finally got a job and am getting my life on track. My question now is if I can move out on my own. I have a potential roommate and we've looked at places we can afford but now my question is, is moving out such a good idea when I saving money staying with Mom? Can I get some EP advice please, do I stay home and continue to be emotionally abused, or take the financial risk of moving out.

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3 Comments (add your own)

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  1. sammyandyou - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by sammyandyou on August 13th, 2012 at 3:35 AM

    If living with your Mom makes you feel like dirt, leave now. It would probably be healthy to leave, too. Try to focus on healing, and do things that you enjoy. If you have a job and a roommate, it seems like you're not going to be in too much financial trouble when you move out. So I would go for it.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  2. pullupgirl102 - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by pullupgirl102 on August 13th, 2012 at 5:02 AM

    They have programs for people that needs help the health department can help you to get medical treatment, and programs to help you, social worker, ask her for help to Find Your place to live,

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  3. MrTasty - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by MrTasty on May 23rd, 2013 at 10:58 AM

    "Can I get some EP advice please, do I stay home and continue to be emotionally abused, or take the financial risk of moving out."

    What is the worst thing that could happen if you take the risk and fail? Is it that you might have to move in with your Mom until you can afford to take the next leap of faith?

    At least you would have a reprieve from the emotional abuse, plus the separation might enable a better relationship between the two of you. It did for me.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

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