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NRF25 - 26-30 years old - female

Posted by NRF25
on August 18th, 2012 at 9:38 PM

Why do I feel completely alone????? Why do i always manage to screw up everything???? why am I not a happy person???
I just want someone that I can call or talk to at any time. My "friends" always wonder why I am the way that I am. Im just so frustrated with no one understanding. I dont expect anyone to understand me or the situation I am in. but it would be nice if they stopped judging me and telling me to stop the way i am feeling. I dont want your opinion i just want you to listen. yet whenever i need someone they are never there for me. I cant repeatedly text anyone because that would be annoying, so I post hints on facebook for people to get the picture and see if im ok. but nothing. its a horrible feeling not having anyone to go to. I hadnt gotten any texts today so when i finally did from a guy that i am ..."talking" to I respond with "wow someone does care about me. haha jk jk I havnt heard from anyone in days. so how are you?" they do not respond. WTF????? and this person always tells me that i dont text him enough. whenever i do he hardly says anything or doesnt respond to my texts. grrrrrrrr Im supposed to be hanging out with "someone" tomorrow. this "Someone" i was texting yesterday and i hadnt talked to them in over a week, went to visit them at work and they werent working that day. anyways i text them and they said they miss me and they i dont text them ummm they dont text me either. anyways they were like "text me a pic" so i said "u first, ill text u one when i get home" I got a pic back but when i got home i sent a pic and havent heard back. WTF AGAIN??? I have a feeling we are not hanging out tomorrow. ughhhhhhhhh. Another person ive been chatting with has become distant i dont get it we would text everrrryyy day now im lucky if we talk once a week. this whole texting crap is really bothering me. I wont get into the whole story but a couple months ago i stopped trusting people and have cut down on the texting. it hard getting close to people anymore because now i just expect them to leave. Im just scared, hurt, sad. I just dont get people. not at all.

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4 Comments (add your own)

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  1. chasinghappiness07 - 22-25 years old - female

    Posted by chasinghappiness07 on August 18th, 2012 at 9:55 PM

    I'm kind of amazed by your post. I've been having a really hard time with life lately, and I've been thinking about trying to find a site like this to reach out on for about a week now, and over that week I've thought about what I would say... And it was pretty much exactly what you wrote in the first half of your post.

    I have friends, but I feel like I don't have anyone to talk to at random times when I'm upset anymore. I can't tell you how many times in the last month I've written out long texts or facebook messages to a few people when I was upset, just trying to reach out for someone to listen to me, and I've stared at the "send" button and ended up deleting the message because I didn't want to annoy anyone.

    I've even considered trying to find a stranger online to talk to. Maybe someone who's in the same position, because I know I can't be the only one that's this lonely, and we could listen to each other...

    So, if by any chance you feel like having someone with an outside perspective & the willingness to listen to talk to when you're having a bad day without any judgment, feel free to send me a message on here. If not, I'll just keep exploring this site. I haven't even posted my own little rant yet. :)

    Reply | 3dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 21st, 2015 at 7:32AM

  3. NRF25 - 26-30 years old - female

    Reply by NRF25 Aug 18th, 2012 at 10:07PM

    WOW yes :) Im glad you read this. Thanks!!! Yeah i do the same thing with writing stuff and ending up deleting it all. haha


  4. beaucoup - 16-17 years old

    Posted by beaucoup on August 18th, 2012 at 10:08 PM

    I think I know exactly what you mean. I'm in the same place now and I don't know how or why, so I can't exactly give you great advice. The only thing that has helped me at all is glimmers of self-reliance. Sometimes putting down all the technology, all of the people who make you (me) feel this way, and living purely with yourself is the best you can do. The person who first commented might not agree, and they're right too, because if you don't make an effort to make connections, you won't go anywhere. All I know is when I first felt this way, I was extremely hopeless, despairing, violently lost. But I recognized that the cause of these feelings was me, not the other people. So I knew the only way to make things right was by fixing things with myself first. Sometimes technology can be a distraction from and an obstacle to facing yourself. I still struggle with the same feelings you do--I'll tell you if I ever find a way out--but I know greater stability and ability to live with it come from the self-reliance that sprouts from time alone. And if you've ever had an opportunity for time alone, it's when people start ignoring you. Good luck.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  5. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 21st, 2015 at 7:32AM

  6. NRF25 - 26-30 years old - female

    Reply by NRF25 Aug 18th, 2012 at 10:23PM

    I do agree with you. I also blame myself for me feeling the way that I do. I mean i finally realized something yesterday. "If You Don’t Love Yourself How Can You Expect Someone Else to Love You?" Im a very self- conscious person so when i dont hear from some one i beat myself up about it. I always think its my fault and i have felt very lost for a couple months now. I think in some ways ive stopped caring. but thank you for reading this.


  7. heretohelps2 - 16-17 years old

    Posted by heretohelps2 on August 19th, 2012 at 2:47 AM

    I feel the same way with most of my friends, like I am always there for them when they need it, but I don't really know how to talk to them about my problems with out getting judged. I would love to help you though so please instead of trying to drop hints and hoping someone will get it, just talk to me.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  8. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 21st, 2015 at 7:32AM

  9. RocketBastard - 18-21 years old - male

    Posted by RocketBastard on February 13th, 2013 at 2:39 PM

    At least you HAVE friends and facebook at that too! From what i could gather from your other confessions you've just been barking up the wrong trees. eventually you'll find your streak~

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  10. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 21st, 2015 at 7:32AM

  11. NRF25 - 26-30 years old - female

    Reply by NRF25 Feb 14th, 2013 at 10:51PM

    I go through these moods and it really sucks when I feel like this because I feel like I either have everyone at once or no one at all. Like right now I have everyone its crazy. people from my past are coming back into my life and its good to hear from them that I mean something to them.


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