If I could forgive myself for having Asperger’s, I would be so much happier. If I could stop hating that part of myself I could go so much farther. If I could just say Moose, it is ok that you are so different. Although, it comes with people that abuse you with words, actions and deceit you are not as different as you feel, or they make it out. There are so many different people in the world who is to say you are so horrible for the ways you are different. If I could just except the fact that people will follow me because I am stemming, video tape me, and make fun of me as I walk to class or to my car I could smile and feel confident in public. I hate the pain I feel because of my stemming If I could just stop and not hurt all the time from the repetitive movement, how much better life would be for me. stemming is destroying my body. I need to except and know that people will see my social weakness and the fact that I am easily to take advantage of and except that they will take the benefit they can of the weaknesses. If I could just love myself, even though I have Asperger’s ,maybe I would not feel so nasty inside. To stop feeling the nasty feeling of being broken would be freeing, to walk past the idea that I am wrong would allow me to feel right for once. I know where I want to be, but I am not there yet. I want to be there, I want to love me, but I don’t. I hate my atomism every day, and hating that part of me, means I hate a large part of myself.