Posted by DarkAngel24
on October 5th, 2012 at 4:35 PM
...he is the nicest guy i have ever dated...and i love him...that is what i keep telling myself...he says we are soulmates, his life is SO much better since i am here, he's so in love with me...and i reply just as sweet...and when i speak with him..i feel it...but when i am away from him, he is not the only thing on my mind...i really WANT to be in love with him...but there is something im not feeling..some connection that is missing...and i was ready to run off to Santa Fe, where he lives, to go find it...to gain that missing Something...meanwhile..i am liking someone else...someone i should not be liking...and who doesnt like me....the heart is treacherous....i DO want to meet him, and be with him, and all of the other stuff we talk about...when we are talking about it...but then i am spending all of the other side of my brain thinking about the Other Guy.....this is Not the type of girl i am...i am Honest. I am Faithful and Loyal....but how can i be honest when i dont even know what the truth is?!?!...i have Always wanted to find love, and i feel like im throwing it all away....by thinking too much...and then by liking a guy i could Never be with...it is all so pointless...i am still so young...my friend says i shouldnt be mad at myself because im just young and confused......but matters of the heart are Always confusing...and if i try to use my brain to resolve the problem, i'll end up alone Forever, because of how screwed up my mind is....i wonder; why are you throwing away a good thing?!?!?....do you Enjoy being miserable?!?!?.....but then i wonder; how can it be Real if i am having feelings for someone else?!?!....someone i have not a chance in heck(on a good day), with!!!! I am just SO CONFUSED!!!!....i just dont have a clue what to do.....
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