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It doesnt even matter to me anymore!

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starlit11 - 22-25 years old - female

Posted by starlit11
on October 6th, 2012 at 3:43 AM


You remember, how we were the best of friends, how inseparable we were in the first year of college.. You two were my roommates n I felt so lucky to have you both as roommates.. What fun we had! We even used to share every lil' thing to each other.. I never had close friends in my school days, n for me you two were my best friends...i loved u, trusted u, knew that u would never leave me alone...

But what happened? Why did we drift apart? The second year of college, we had to shift to another building n you werent my roommates anymore.. More than that what hurt me most was that both of you were extremely happy with ur new roommates, n both of you had rooms just opposite to each other whereas mine was too far apart.. My new roommates were good for nothing n I hated them...and you knew this, yet you didnt say anything abt it..
So many times I tried to talk to you about how much I was hurting inside.. But you would always say few words to console me n then go away..
Later when I flunked in a subject in second year, I really needed ur support, but you werent there for me when I really needed you, when I wanted to talk, I was all alone... How could you just leave me alone? So all that close bonding we had was fake? I doubt it now.. You both might be able to make friends easily, but for me its difficult...and now its more difficult coz I dont trust anyone, not even you.. I'm afraid to let others come closer to me, thanks to you!
And last year, we fought over a simple matter n you said it was all my fault?!! That I shouldnt have said so.. Well, I only said what was true, if you cant believe it, what can I do?
And then you stopped talking to me-as if we talked a lot before- and I got to hear somethings you said about me to others... And on friendship's day you came to me n said lets forget everything! I cant!! I dont trust you anymore! I dont trust anyone...'friends' is just a word for me now..it doesnt mean anything to me.
And today it was ur result n you passed.. And honestly, I wasnt happy..deep inside, I had wished for you to flunk..
Well, it doesnt matter to me anymore..you pass, fail or do whatever..! I dont care! Just go away from my life, soon..i dont wana see you anymore..

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