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tambem - 31-35 years old - male

Posted by tambem
on October 15th, 2012 at 6:18 PM

i met a woman some time ago,she had had a miserable life.she desperatly needed someone to talk to and i ended up beeing the ears she was looking for.she told me all her life,and it wasn´t a nice story!i´m not gonna talk about it,for it was  her life not mine.the reason i mentioned this is only because of something she said that connects to how i feel right now.she told me-"a few dys ago i was feeling down,really sad,and all i wanted was to laugh but i had no reason i decided to drink!and i drank,i drank all i could waiting to feel good,but  instead of laughing i ended up crying!i cried all night.i had never cried like that.and it felt good,it felt great.i realised after,that was what i needed,not laughter".
looking back on my life,unlike her,i have very little to cry about.i have had  a great life,filled with laughter and joy.i have all i ever looked for,and yet,i need to cry!i need to!!and i can´t!i drink to,too much,i drink trying to cry,but instead i end up laughing and in a good mood!and everyday i drink more!i don´t know why,what is happening to me!i love and am loved,i have a good job,i got nothing bad in my life,but still i think i´m loosing my mind.i feel i´m going to blow up,sadness and anger are taking over me,and i don´t know which will come first!either i blow up in tears or i´ll blow up in violence.unlike this woman,when i´m drunk,iget all out of my mind,but the next day it all comes might be a depression,i don´t know.í don´t even know why am i writing this,but it probably is because i think i need help. 

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  1. confucia - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by confucia on October 15th, 2012 at 6:33 PM

    It's an emotional something, maybe loonlynes or maybe a heart brake or maybe economy, healt. I really don't know, but in times like this you need to talk with somebody so you can let your emotions flow,,,about the drinking well it's not to good to do it too often,,, maybe you can invite a frien for a cuple of drinks and you can both share your taughts,, unstress your self for a while but do not exide your self.Remember alcohol is not the solution,,,,try going to church once and a while. and if you feel any worse well you migth have to look for a shrink!!!

    Remember relax!!!

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 9:56AM

  3. tambem - 31-35 years old - male

    Reply by tambem Oct 15th, 2012 at 6:50PM

    thank u for your comment!like i said,i´ve got it all.a great wife and daughter,and great friends!money and health to!i´m very thankfull for all i have,i have been blessed!yet,i do feel lonely,and me beeing here venting,only proves it!but i shouldn´t be!drinking hasn´t yet been seen as a problem to those around me,cause i behave well,but i know there is something wrong,and i´m drinking way way too much!i know i can´t keep it up,i have to stop it but i´m afraid that if i do my "insanity"will become stronger and obvious to everyone.


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