Posted by tonyzxcv
on November 4th, 2012 at 10:45 AM
I cannot blame you for my problems and my wrongdoings and choices... The gift that you gave us is the free will to choose the right from the wrong. What can I say? I chose to do many wrong choices and mistakes. However our wrong choices and decisions carry sins which we will have to pay the price for either in this life or in the next. What happened to me? I used to be happy full of love, self rspect, joy, honesty and excitement. Why has my soul descended into the darkness which corrupted me and made me full of anger, jealousy, hate, lies, stress and depression? Is it because I have failed the life test that you have given me God? Was it because I lived to well and had to much joy and happiness within me? Why have you allowed the evil to switch my life around completely without the slightest of my knowledge? Why did I have to change so much that people can't stand me? Why have you made me so weak into resisting my wrongness and corrupted and vile passions? What do I have to do to recover what has been lost and continue thriving and developing? I was only a foolish naive kid, I don't think I deserved or earned that! Or did I ask for it because I was constantly looking for an adventure? That's probably it; well! I got it God and I'am sorry for what I asked for, because once you experience the real thing, you wish you have never asked for it. Please give me another chance to make things right, to lead a clear, healthy, morally and emotionally god-like life. I'am sorry for the people I have hurt, especially my mother, but God you have to understand it ain't entirely my fault, I was just a silly kid. Can you sense my mistake?; ofcourse you can you are the almighty one. We are born alone and we die alone, we are truly all lonely, everything else is an illusion... We answer to you alone God; for our deeds. If you want to make my life miserable, maybe it is my faith God. If so please help me do enough good deeds, help people as much as I can so that before I die my vile ways can be forgiven and I can be accepted into your long awaited paradise. I'am not sure who you are... Christian, Islam, Judaism or a polythiest... I can't judge, all I can say is thre is one main creator. And this message goes to the one creator, I hope you get it, read my haert and undertand me. If you can't help me on what is wrong with me, please atleast help me see whyit happened, send me a vision, a dream of the bigger picture! Please forgive me for what I have done. All I need is love, compassion and attention... I'am not sure if i can love and can be loved...
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