God, save my soul and forgive me, aftert all I'am your son.

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tonyzxcv - 18-21 years old - male

Posted by tonyzxcv
on November 4th, 2012 at 10:45 AM

I cannot blame you for my problems and my wrongdoings and choices... The gift that you gave us is the free will to choose the right from the wrong. What can I say? I chose to do many wrong choices and mistakes. However our wrong choices and decisions carry sins which we will have to pay the price for either in this life or in the next. What happened to me? I used to be happy full of love, self rspect, joy, honesty and excitement. Why has my soul descended into the darkness which corrupted me and made me full of anger, jealousy, hate, lies, stress and depression? Is it because I have failed the life test that you have given me God? Was it because I lived to well and had to much joy and happiness within me? Why have you allowed the evil to switch my life around completely without the slightest of my knowledge? Why did I have to change so much that people can't stand me? Why have you made me so weak into resisting my wrongness and corrupted and vile passions? What do I have to do to recover what has been lost and continue thriving and developing? I was only a foolish naive kid, I don't think I deserved or earned that! Or did I ask for it because I was constantly looking for an adventure? That's probably it; well! I got it God and I'am sorry for what I asked for, because once you experience the real thing, you wish you have never asked for it. Please give me another chance to make things right, to lead a clear, healthy, morally and emotionally god-like life. I'am sorry for the people I have hurt, especially my mother, but God you have to understand it ain't entirely my fault, I was just a silly kid. Can you sense my mistake?; ofcourse you can you are the almighty one. We are born alone and we die alone, we are truly all lonely, everything else is an illusion... We answer to you alone God; for our deeds. If you want to make my life miserable, maybe it is my faith God. If so please help me do enough good deeds, help people as much as I can so that before I die my vile ways can be forgiven and I can be accepted into your long awaited paradise. I'am not sure who you are... Christian, Islam, Judaism or a polythiest... I can't judge, all I can say is thre is one main creator. And this message goes to the one creator, I hope you get it, read my haert and undertand me. If you can't help me on what is wrong with me, please atleast help me see whyit happened, send me a vision, a dream of the bigger picture! Please forgive me for what I have done. All I need is love, compassion and attention... I'am not sure if i can love and can be loved... 

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4 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Posted by An EP User on November 4th, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    I think you need to save yourself buy making positive changes in your life

    this idea that some god will just change everything for you if you pray is baloney

    focus on the issues on your life that are problematic then come up with a way to deal with them. make changes in your character and changes in your life

    for the better

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 21st, 2015 at 10:05AM

  3. lovehutz - 51-55 years old - female

    Posted by lovehutz on November 4th, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    God beless you, and give you love abundently.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 21st, 2015 at 10:05AM

  5. tonyzxcv - 18-21 years old - male

    Reply by tonyzxcv Nov 4th, 2012 at 11:33AM

    Thank you. Hope God will lead you too.


  6. lovehutz - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by lovehutz Nov 4th, 2012 at 12:32PM

    Thanks I need him too right now.


  7. MelbaBlaine - 22-25 years old

    Posted by MelbaBlaine on August 12th, 2013 at 1:29 PM

    What happened?

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  8. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 21st, 2015 at 10:05AM

  9. Jude21 - 41-45 years old

    Posted by Jude21 on January 11th, 2015 at 7:01 PM

    You clearly have faith in God and have cried out in desperation. You are not unlike many people we read of in the bible. At such a young age I want to encourage you - the bad things you've done don't define who you are. Jesus died so that you don't have to 'earn' God's love and approval. He already loves and approves of you. And He wants to help you to turn your life around. When you realise how much He actually loves you, and isn't angry with you, you will love Him and that love will cause a am change in your life. You don't need to strive to 'be good'. It's the love of Christ that brings people to repentance. If you are sorry, then confess that you've blames God for making you weak or not understanding. God is always there. He has not moved. He listens to everything you are saying and knows your heart.

    If you want to find Him, go find Him in a church - in a community of believers who will support you. If you don't like the one church, go to another, but remember , churches are not perfect and people are not perfect. Don't go after the hype, just a place where people be genuinely love and are seeking God . God promised you that when you seek Him with all your heart you will find him.

    you can stop besting yourself uo about your past. The devil may have your past but Jesus has your future - if you'll surrender to Him.

    Everybody makes mistakes and commits sins. But with God there are many chances. He doesn't give up on you even if you give up on you, or on Him.

    Go and apologise to your mother and make amends by deciding to cast your burdens upon the Lord. He won't let you down. His arms are open for you to run into. Not many people of your age are humble and wise enough to acknowledge the errors of their ways and want to make a change. You can be victorious and help so many people . You are still young and have a wonderful future ahead of you and a good life if you'll stop worrying about what you've done - hand it over to God because Jesus already dealt with it all on the cross. Then, with His help, you can work with Him to change your life around. It's worked for so many people. I am one of them. I would be nowhere without God. Jesus threw me many many life lines and now I help other people because of Him and not for my glory but for His. You also need to love yourself. You are worthy of love and forgiveness just like anyone else is.

    And you have strength and Your heart is in the right place.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  10. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 21st, 2015 at 10:05AM

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