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Lost in a familiar place

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onceloved - 18-21 years old - female

Posted by onceloved
on November 14th, 2012 at 9:45 PM


I have no idea why, but I feel like I have a lot of potential but not the strength or push that is needed to succeed in school. A's used to come so easy and now, they just don't seen to come at all. I am struggling to push myself to my limit. I don't even know if I have a limit. I got used to hearing everybody tell me how smart I was that I forgot that to keep my "smarts" I have to learn to push myself because after one gets to the point where the material one is learning is no longer something of one's interest or something that comes easy one must learn to study it and then learn it.  

School used to be my outlet to the family troubles that will never end and the loneliness I felt in a room full of "friends" and now, it is just one more trouble in my life. I

really don't know why quitting college is not as bad as doing miserably as I go. So, I wonder  why not quit if I am not doing good? why keep wasting time and money if it is to obtain a college degree with a low GPA? Who is going to hire me? 

I don't even think a BA is enough to succeed which is why of the many reason why I thought Medical School was my path to go through but I really dont have the studying habits a Pre Med needs. So, how can I dare to think I could make it into Medical School? 

I am so lost in a very familiar place.

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2 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Nejen - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by Nejen on November 14th, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    Your family problems may well be the cause of your loss of drive. Most of us can hang in and survive a problem home situation with our sanity intact, but not necessarily have extra reserves for excelling in studies. It wears one down.

    How about consulting with people already in the field? And what about a half way stop where you can use whatever degree you need to start working, and earn independence, and continue your studies some time later?

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 18th, 2014 at 7:37AM

  3. onceloved - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by onceloved Nov 14th, 2012 at 10:07PM

    Thanks for the response. I have been thinking about what could I get my degree in so I can gain independence but I really cannot think of anything that interests me and can give me any hopes of a job with a BA....

    Reply

  4. Posted by An EP User on November 15th, 2012 at 1:50 AM

    Sounds like you're lacking motivation, partly because it seems studying was an escape for you anyway, not a pleasure; partly because you seem unconvinced the struggle to do well academically is worth it. Motivation's a tough one. Wish I had an easy solution, but I don't. I just keep reminding myself several times per day what I need to be doing, and why it matches my values and beliefs. It's the values and beliefs that provide motivation, in my opinion. If they're fuzzy, there won't be much motivation, nor much action. That's my take on it, for what it's worth, my friend.

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  5. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 18th, 2014 at 7:37AM

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

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