Game over, I lost

They say you never know what you have until you lose it. I beg to differ, I've known exactly what I've had and still lost it. So I try to move past the losing part and focus on what I do have, and I feel like I'm kidding myself trying to find something that isn't there, not anymore.
I have to confess, my heart will be the death of me, it won't stop loving you.
I have to confess, my brain will eventually fry out, it won't stop thinking of you, of us, of what we had and could have had, had I not done what I did, am who I am.
I have to confess that its all a vicious cycle, I love with everything I have, and am therefore losing all that I am.
Thank you for loving me once. Thank you for understanding. Thank you for what you are capable of offering. Thank you for taking a chance.
I'm sorry for the rest of it.