Why I'm doing this.

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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on November 29th, 2012 at 8:39 PM

I'm doing this because I love you, and I want some way to interact and engage with you that's somewhat appropriate and on-topic. I want you to know I'm interested in what you're interested in and that I'm paying attention. I don't care all that much about what we're talking about, but I care about you, and I want to connect with you. I'm aware, as you probably are, of our chemistry. It's been both pleasurable and agonizing. I fell in love with you pretty early on when I realized who you were and how admirable you are. I want to show you who I am, but it wouldn't be appropriate. I don't think it ever will be, and I'll always want more with you. What's the point of starting something that could never be finished? But, I also don't want to give you the impression that I don't like you. I think you know I do, and not only because of the attraction. I like who you are. We don't have that much time left together, and I both feel relieved and sad. I feel something with you, and all I can do is dream.

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3 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Posted by An EP User on November 29th, 2012 at 8:51 PM

    Hmm, not so agonizing that you'll compromise your agenda?

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. anewsam - 70+ years old

    Reply by anewsam Nov 30th, 2012 at 8:32AM

    I second that question. I have no "agenda" here. It's not like I'm trying to assassinate him, or something...


  3. ohemmgee - 31-35 years old - female

    Reply by ohemmgee Nov 30th, 2012 at 9:11AM

    Ah, so it's a class that will come to an end? I thought it was a decision you were making to walk away, okay, my bad.


  4. remotelyhopefulidealist33 - 18-21 years old - female

    Posted by remotelyhopefulidealist33 on November 29th, 2012 at 9:09 PM

    Oh, now that's rather bittersweet. If you really care that much for someone, I think you shouldn't let them go without at least letting them know in some way how you feel and/or at least trying to get a friendship thing with that person going. It could eventually develop into something stronger than friendship maybe?

    Reply | 3dislike | Flag

  5. anewsam - 70+ years old

    Reply by anewsam Nov 30th, 2012 at 8:37AM

    I agree. He's married and currently my professor, so I'm being very careful. Oh, and his kids are my age. It's obvious we have chemistry, but being responsible about it in light of all his other commitments is what's hard. I can tell he yearns as much as I do, but...letting whatever happen happen would be wrong, wouldn't it? Nothing needs to be said to know that we want each other. But I don't want to ruin his life. He's incredibly accomplished and renowned. I don't want to be the young floozy who caused his demise. I don't see myself that way, but others will, surely.


  6. remotelyhopefulidealist33 - 18-21 years old - female

    Reply by remotelyhopefulidealist33 Nov 30th, 2012 at 3:39PM

    Yeah, in that case it's best to be careful.


  7. experiencingnow - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by experiencingnow on November 30th, 2012 at 7:42 AM

    Definitely enjoyed reading this. Thanks so much for sharing.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  8. anewsam - 70+ years old

    Reply by anewsam Nov 30th, 2012 at 8:33AM

    Glad you enjoyed it. I was really feeling it last night and needed to vent.


  9. experiencingnow - 26-30 years old - female

    Reply by experiencingnow Nov 30th, 2012 at 8:37AM

    I hear you. Nice thing about this place.. better than a journal. Others can actually see. Gives the heart a little chance be seen.


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