Pregnant,3kids and husband moved out 3mnths ago,battling emotionally

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leilaluv - 31-35 years old - female

Posted by leilaluv
on December 1st, 2012 at 1:26 AM

My husband and I started having problems beginning of this yr,due to him being to close with a mutual divorced  woman friend. Of which i told both of them ,the friendship wasnt good. she hs 2 kids. she wasnt working,started working in August and my troubles got worse. then he started going out often at night,due to trying to make more money... We have always battled financially. He started his own school transporting services. 
Anyway he moed out September,said its just a separation and willsee how things go, my kids (14 yr girl,9yr boy,4 yr boy) they were devastated ,esp my 9yr old son, we all cried.... The 1st week was a battle,we had numerous fights till now, found him so many times at that womans house stating he needed money,etc... The both of them says theres nothing but my 6th sense tells me they lying. he moved saying he live by his parents, but 4 6/7 weeks he hasnt been living thre, im sure hes living by this woman, coz b4 she wud let me in the house,when i go there abt 2/3 times i neva went inside? he says im harrassing this womn! i knw shes the cause of my separation. He hasnt been supportive of my pregnancy really, he use to be so caring and warm, he now says theres no love for me, like b4? we married 13yrs ,it was our anniversary 17 Oct, i was alone, he wishd me the morning and thats all. He says hes love for me is coz  we share kids. this 4th baby means nothing to him. He said so many hurtful things these past few weeks, when i now decided to stop fighting to get things fixed, I need to move on , Im 24 weeks pregnant, all alone with kids. How do I move on and not care for him, as he takes full advantage of my caring nature.  I love him and wish i can wake up from this nightmare!

when it comes to supprting his kids, he hasnt done well!
last month R300 wAS given, besides paying half of the bond and his dbit orders off my account. I took two loans out 4 him to fix his kombi!
at this present moment,he hasnt even given me half of his share,and my salary cant cover all.... Its like hes become this dog of a man that i dont knw.

one good thing came out of this separation ,I have become closer to God,Making my prayers in the morning and readning my Quraan(bible)
in Islam a man cant divorce his wife whilst shes pregnant , i have to wait till aftr baby, im due  in Mar 2013. 
But to live knowing my life revolved this man and my kids
now i wish i can change  my outlook just on me and my kids.

That is very difficult, as im will him 16 yrs nw in December
I cant remember what I want,what i like,etc it was always what he liked, or want to do,etc

Please Help me find direction to move on
Im now ready to try to move on and make myself happy
for my baby sake, Ive messed up 24weeks of his life 

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2 Comments (add your own)

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  1. TheOnlyBenis - 22-25 years old - male

    Posted by TheOnlyBenis on December 1st, 2012 at 1:30 AM

    If you're struggling financially, why have more kids? Obviously he didn't take your marriage seriously, but you need to make some pretty big decisions. You might want to put your next child up for adoption.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 11:13PM

  3. leilaluv - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by leilaluv on December 1st, 2012 at 1:41 AM

    well that wasnt planned! and i will not do that, Its my blessing and I do have a family who is there for me now at least! its the least of my concern.... every child has a blessing from God, if u believe in God ,u will understand that!

    my bad i fell pregnant, I cannot question Gods reason for my struggles in life

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 3rd, 2015 at 11:13PM

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