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My children don't love me, but it's alright

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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on December 2nd, 2012 at 11:39 PM


It's been a year or two now they've been pulling away.  The older one used to talk to me alot and we shared a lot.  Now she talks to me now and then but mostly she just puts the camera on the babies so I can look at them, she doesn't interact. I keep asking myself what made this happen.  It must have been something or lots of things I said or did, or maybe it's not my fault.  It really doesn't matter. The younger one has told me she doesn't think I was a very good mom, I let her down in many ways.  Stuff I thought I was trying to protect her, but she didn't think so.  At first I tried to keep in touch, but they won't answer their phones or my texts, so I cut that out, I figured I should quit bugging them.  It's been very painful and confusing and kind of heartbreaking for me, but at last I'm feeling that I should just let it be. So this is my confession.  I want to mark today as I am trying to let go.  Let go of the pain, and the need to call them or hear from them.  They have their own lives, I guess I better move on with mine.  I have a great hubby and a cute little dog.  I'm going to stop beating myself up over this and try to let it rest.  With Christmas coming they say they will be here for a day or two.  I hope to make it go smoothly.  Thanks for giving me the opportunity to write this down and get it out. Glad I said it.

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6 Comments (add your own)

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  1. Posted by An EP User on December 2nd, 2012 at 11:43 PM

    Have you directly asked them what they feel you could do to rectify some of their hurt, as well as your own?

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  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 22nd, 2014 at 5:28AM

  3. Posted by An EP User on December 2nd, 2012 at 11:45 PM

    They pull away, but like always they come when they want something, or they'll going to get something. I don't know their story, but they might be trying to black mail you. Family counseling may help.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 22nd, 2014 at 5:28AM

  5. 888illuminism888 - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by 888illuminism888 on December 2nd, 2012 at 11:50 PM

    We do the best raising our kids with what we have available and sometimes kids don't understand this until they have children of their own..Do not let them make you into a emotional hostage for the past..You cannot change the past... You did the best you could and if they don't feel the same way...well...unfortunately..they have to realize that in their own time in their own way...Its your turn to have a life...they have theirs now..you did the best you could..all you can do is be mom and hope they see how hard you tried one day. Until then... no matter what, your still mom and you will still be there...cause that's what we do! Just remember don't beat yourself up for their hang ups...kids sometimes forget parents have feelings too!

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  6. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 22nd, 2014 at 5:28AM

  7. Duck23r - 56-60 years old

    Posted by Duck23r on December 3rd, 2012 at 12:07 AM

    thank you 888illuminism888 for the words of encouragement. It was just what I needed tonight

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  8. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 22nd, 2014 at 5:28AM

  9. sbeebuu - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by sbeebuu on December 3rd, 2012 at 7:12 AM

    I understand how it feels and hurts, though I personally never had this issue . But me and my wife went to classes on how to raise kids. I tell you they are true professionals and they taught us on how on issues on raising children , the problem faced by the children and how and when to intervene , food etc. my humble suggestion would be just don't give up and you are not destined for failure. Talk to profession and things should be fine

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  10. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 22nd, 2014 at 5:28AM

  11. Afather - 61-65 years old

    Posted by Afather on January 5th, 2013 at 3:53 AM

    I am there with you. It hurts, it seems so unfair. I've given my time, my love, my money, and my health. Like you said; they have their lives, you have yours. We must live for ourselves and accept that they will not be part of our lives. Good luck, good life.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  12. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Dec 22nd, 2014 at 5:28AM

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

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