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The pain

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Stormwind2 - 18-21 years old - female

Posted by Stormwind2
on December 15th, 2012 at 12:36 AM

I'm waiting alone for someone to fall into my arms someone who cares and someone who can love me for who I am.
But that will sadly never come because I am different and people like me don't just walk up to someone openly ask.
That's because we're scared of judgment or harassment it's because were different that people don't understand.
So you think some people are open but if you find them them your lucky or at least you are in my experiences I have had.
so i sit around. and I thought to myself let love come to me. but that love never came it never showed up. 
I have tested men and I dated men but never once have I felt love not true love. But I need that from a woman not a man.
You heard that I am not straight. and if you got a problem with it suck it up its my life not your's. 
I'm worried that I will sit here alone forever to scared to find someone or know what to ask or how to ask it.  
I do love someone but that someone is not a lesbian and you cannot force a person into love. So it's hard because you're not straight you cannot force yourself to be who your not. I love who I am in would never take it back but it's definitely hard being what I am. Maybe someday I could date a man? but I really doubt that. I have never felt fully comfortable with one or completely happy with one. and I could never "have it with them" 
Im lost....I need someone and i got that someone in mind. and I can't have her. it's okay. I may find someone someday but I am so scared I don't even know if I ever will I feel like sometimes no one knows or understands my pain even though many do.

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