Going on

*I know she was happy her whole life.* !!! Of course I take you at your word. Do you realize how powerful that is?! Your mom was happy her whole life! What in the world do you have to feel guilty about? What is the upside? Believe me, I have done the guilt thing and the most revealing light came in my response to that question. In my case the answer to the question was that there was no upside. By turning to guilt I realized that I got to hang on to my sorrow, my deep, deep sadness which was necessary for me to feel for a time, but which I realized did not serve me for the good as I became stuck and, I'm ashamed to say, pitiful. Pitiful because viewed from outside myself as if I were looking at someone else behaving/thinking the way I was, I had less and less sympathy for the person that focused on the ifs and woulda coulda shouldas. Pitiful. Not commenting on you, only me. You might not be ready to step outside yourself yet, but I can recommend it. Again, I don't want to ready harsh, but we are all going to die: death and taxes, the only guarantees and all that. Mostly we have no say in the when for our dying and if we reach an older age and die before our children (my mom has buried three children - I don't know how she goes on...) and were *happy our whole life* I'd say that good fortune shined on us. Your mom had a decent life, right? And you're mired in guilt? How is this serving you? Ok... I'm done. I am challenging you, obviously. Go deeper. Why do you need this guilt? Don't do this to yourself. Or, go ahead and keep going the way you've been. Hm, which is the one that will serve you best for the rest of YOUR life? ....Not bashing you. Pushing you (more than you bargained for?) to examine. Mom says don't waste energy on guilt and you embrace the guilt? That works for you? *ugly(?) with sarcasm* You are smarter than your emotions. Think. It's ok to feel sadness, but guilt robs you of precious energy you could use in a positive manner. ....In support of your journey