You’re the kind of person…

You’re the kind of person one falls instantly in love with. It’s not something adjectives could describe. You are someone words cannot describe. My feelings for you…I feel enveloped in your love at all times. I begin to melt when I even think of you. Sometimes, when around you, I’m so full of love that I can’t look at you. It’s so overpowering. It’s a feeling of fondness, of reverence, as if I’m in the presence of someone so special, so extraordinary, so beautiful, passionate, brilliant. You make me come alive. I was asleep for some time, but you woke me up, and I’ve been awake, active, deeply in love with you and my life ever since. Words don’t do it. Will hugs? Will I ever feel your embrace? Your lips on mine? Will I ever see you smile at me in sheer rapture? Will you ever take my hand as we walk down the street, you and I against the world?
 
I don’t know. I dream. I fantasize. I love you enough that, when I think of you, I get chills. When you wrote me the other day, unexpected to me, my heart stopped. I was not in the greatest mood, but one email from you and my world began to look bright again. Oh, honey…it will be hard to move on from you, to get over this. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop loving you. It seems I love you more by the day. I can leave it how it is, not disturbing the life you have now. I don’t know if I’ll ever tell you. I don’t think I will. It will ruin what we have. I’ll lose you forever. I’ll lose the privilege of being able to talk to you. Being able to talk to you in a limited, controlled, boundaried way is better than not being able to talk to you at all. It’s better than you disappearing from my life, leaving me to wonder for years what became of you. Honey, I care about you. I love you. And folk wisdom says to let the one you love fly. I loved you from afar. I still do. I let you fly. I’ll let you continue. If you fly toward me, I’ll welcome you with open wings. But darling, that’s yet to happen. I don’t know if it ever will.
 
Forgive me for not wanting to start something I couldn’t finish. I loved you. I loved you so much, and it took all the willpower I had to stay away from you. You infected me with your charm, and now I’ll have to live with it forever, unable to do anything with it. It’ll be a torch I carry for you, unrelieved by union. Alone, vulnerable, ever-desirous, never-sated.