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being scared

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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on January 27th, 2013 at 5:49 PM

You know that great, burning, perfect love
Kisses are perfection and you fit together like two puzzle pieces. 
That person is a part of you. 
Whatever you imagine happening in the future, you see that person standing by you and you're standing by them. 
You're happy and warm just knowing that you're his and he's yours. Silence is not uncomfortable. 
The person you planned forever with. 
The person who made you feel beautiful and who may not have been perfect but is perfect for you. 

What happens if, suddenly, this light is taken out of your life? 
Just like that.
In a moment. 
You're hurt and it feels like you're dying inside or that the world has descended into chaos. 
But if he would only come back to you, you'd take him back. Just like that. 
Does it matter that you're different? Does it matter, really? Love is what matters. Being crazy about each other. 

It was love. It is love. The only reason why I've turned it off is because it hurts too much. If it hurts, I can't function. 
It's the kind of love you KNOW doesn't come along more than once in a lifetime. Your soul-mate. The One. 

So what do you do when the person you put all your trust in leaves? Makes you doubt everything about your life together?
I'm scared because I don't believe that I'll ever be in love like I am with him. I feel like I'll just be waiting for him. But he hurt me. 
I'm scared I won't be able to love like that again or be loved. 
I'm scared I won't be kissed with the same feeling he gave me.
I'm scared of being alone for a long, long, long, time. Love is beautiful. I miss it. I miss him. I miss us. I'm so angry. 

Vote up! 6

3 Comments (add your own)

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  1. wildchild74 - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by wildchild74 on January 27th, 2013 at 6:01 PM

    I have been in your shoes before. And I can tell you that you will find that special feeling of love again. But the next time you find it will be better than the first. The kisses you receive will make you feel like you are in another world with him.

    If he left you then he was not your soul mate. I know the pain and hurt all too well that you are feeling. I can promise you this, it will get better with time and heal like all wounds do. One day you will wake up and look back and say to yourself "What was I thinking back then". All of this pain and hurt you are going through is not for nothing. You will grow from this experience and become more of a stronger person than you have ever been. As the saying goes "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" I should have this tattoed on my body by now. I live by these words everyday and so should you.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 25th, 2015 at 10:40PM

  3. girlcapitol - 51-55 years old - female

    Reply by girlcapitol Jan 27th, 2013 at 6:19PM

    Excellent response! My "soulmate" betrayed me in the worst ways but I was very sad before angry. I agree the best is yet to come and it's important to be free when it does!

    Reply Delete

  4. jeremyleaves - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by jeremyleaves on January 27th, 2013 at 6:12 PM

    I too know that feeling. When the moment gives way to time; and somehow you don't feel the same away about anything. And you wonder will you ever be as happy as you were when you were naive. When you thought love was its own life source. That all things came back around to bliss. Things change. And so do people. sometimes love dies along the way. And that is the saddest thing you will ever see. There are many stories of more woe than that of Juliet and her Romeo.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  5. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 25th, 2015 at 10:40PM

  6. Earthen - 36-40 years old - female

    Posted by Earthen on January 27th, 2013 at 6:45 PM

    I felt that way too about my situation. He was the love of my life, never felt like that ever before. Yet, he didn't feel the same. I or it pushed him away. Yet he says my name will be uttered on his death bed. Doesn't make sense to me. If you love someone that way, why give up on it. Why not fight for it until your very last breath. He went back to a life of Hell he said, but why would you? He left me alone, lonely, on my own to wallow and decay. That's not love. Love should be wonderful, a deep and committed friendship.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  7. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 25th, 2015 at 10:40PM

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

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