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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on February 12th, 2013 at 6:22 PM

I don't know if I should spell the beans but I need to in order to get some mental rest. I've been married for over 15 years, and my husband cheated on me with a lot younger girl  and 30 years his senior So,. We separated for over 4 months. I thought that I would never forgive him for what he did to me, but after his 4 months with his "trophy" he came back asking for forgiveness. Family members said to me " you're crazy if you forgive him, a cheater is a cheater and never change". Others said "We all make mistakes, you love him and you're miserable" and yes. I love him and yes, I was miserable. So, I took him back. The problem is, we never talked about it and I opted to buried this issue deep in my soul and never deal with it BUT, is starting to caching up with me and even though I love my husband very much, I hate him very much. I am starting to have this shameful, hurtful, embarrasing thought about him. I want to hurt him like he did to me! I want him to feel what I felt.  I don't think I'm an evil person, I don't think I can hurt a fly, I rather hurt myself than hurt what I love, but these thoughts are making me sick, physically and mentally. I don't know how to deal with it, I know if I go to my husband about it, he would think Im crazy or maybe I am, or worse, he would be afraid of me!!! I don't know
All I have to say is if you read this, please don't tell me I need to see a Shyquiatrist. I know that, all I want to hear is Im not alone

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  1. servantforyou - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by servantforyou on February 12th, 2013 at 6:32 PM

    Sorry to hear about your situation. For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health. How long has he been back. Has he changed? You need to talk to him. You could open your self up to more hurt. I think you need to go to counselling. Go to church and talk to the ladies at the church. God Bless, Remember, he sinned you, you did'nt sin on him. He sould feel the worry, not you!

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 4th, 2015 at 2:26AM

  3. RedheadedRock - 31-35 years old - female

    Posted by RedheadedRock on February 12th, 2013 at 7:14 PM

    As a former Other Woman, I am so sorry you are having to go thru it. I have a little different perspective than most because my Husband decided to stay. The Other Man was also married. My Husband has those moments like you described, I know because he tells me when he is going thru one of those spells. We found that was the best way to deal with it. Just sit down and have a candid conversation about it. Tell him that you love him and you are glad you stayed but you need some closure. Tell him you don't want to re-open that wound but you just need to tell him how deeply you hurt him and tell him how much you are struggling with it. If nothing else, you won't have to feel guilty about how you are feeling.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 4th, 2015 at 2:26AM

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