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Everything about pregnancy and childbirth terrifies and disgusts me.

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Anonymous User

Posted by Anonymous
on February 19th, 2013 at 7:03 AM


I'm at an age where lots of women I know are having kids. Even though I'm 30 and the world is telling me that my "biological clock" should be ringing its way off the desk, my gut reaction to pregnancy news of acquaintances is still the teenage "I'm so sorry... so like, are you gonna have it? And you're gonna keep it too?" Never mind the woman in question has been married for five years and is ecstatic. I fight to feign excitement for her, because honestly I just can't fathom why anyone would put themselves through a kind of hellish torture that the Spanish Inquisition could have only dreamed of. Harbour an alien parasite that makes you retch, watch your body become deformed, and then be torn apart from the inside out, all the whilst performing humiliating and private bodily functions in front of at least five strangers? How has that $hit not been condemned by the Hague? If I even see a diagram of gestation in a medical textbook or what have you, I recoil the way an arachnophobe does over a tarantula.

I don't have the same fear of infants, but they don't exactly thrill me they way they're supposed to either. Even my own mother admits that she's not the type to coo over "precious little angels" that essentially all look the same. I'm well aware that we were all babies once, as were the billions upon billions of people that ever have and ever will inhabit this planet. That commonplace-ness is exactly why I can't seem to get excited about them. The odd thing is, though, that I do like kids. If, for whatever reason, I was named the legal guardian of a friend or relative's child and I had the financial means to take care of him or her, I would in a heartbeat. I've also thought that if I found myself still single at 40, but with enough money and social support to adopt, then I would.  I just can't seem to get past how they get here.

My rational mind tells me that, if pregnancy and childbirth were really as bad as I'm making it out to be, we wouldn't have a global overpopulation crisis. Rather, procreation would be some kind of dystopian Hunger Games-style lottery scheme and we'd have trouble keeping the human race going. But it's not. Fortunately for me, I have a boyfriend who supports my career choices and, while having kids is a possibility for him, it's not terribly high on his to do list. But probably need to tell him just how deep my fear runs, and I'm afraid of it fundamentally changing his opinion of me. Like I'm not a real woman but some kind of transgendered alien like Sally in 3rd Rock from the Sun.

I know I'm in a minority here, but please don't judge me. I just want to know if I'm the only one. 

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2 Comments (add your own)

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  1. daguid - 61-65 years old - male

    Posted by daguid on February 19th, 2013 at 7:34 AM

    not everyone is meant to be a mommy.

    don't sweat it. at least U R being honest about it....

    not to worry about doing your part with keeping your bloodline going, the earth's population will begin to decline around 2050. more and more of the population is forgoing having kids. the rest of us are beginning to get older and the the Human Species will slowly burn itself out. currently there are more people over 60 y.o. than under the age of 15.

    do the math.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

  2. Posted by An EP User on February 19th, 2013 at 8:30 AM

    I had no interest in having a child, and I mean NONE, until I was 32. I dreaded baby showers, oohing and aaaahing over little clothes, and listening to the endless conversations about their kids. I couldn't relate, and had no interest in it. Babies themselves didn't excite me either, even though I'd worked with children plenty in a learning environment, I felt awkward and uncomfortable and had NO desire to hold one. Even though I've had my own, I still feel awkward with children other than mine. Truth be told, plenty don't find newborns cute. For me I joined the "other side" when my friends 2nd child, a little girl took a shining to me. She was funny and sweet, won me over and at that point, I decided, maybe the mom thing wouldn't be so bad. If having a child isn't a priority to either of you I wouldn't push it, just make sure you are on the same page from time to time. On the off chance that you do change your mind and decide to get pregnant, if your boyfriend really loves you, your body changes won't matter to him. But talk to him, find out how he feels. Enough of my endless /mindless blabbing,lol, .. I wish you the best of luck.

    Reply | 2dislike | Flag

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