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My daughters ex-boyfriend

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pamdream - female

Posted by pamdream
on November 19th, 2013 at 8:15 AM

This is so crazy....
Before my daughter left for school in August, she broke up with the guy she was seeing for over a year. She is 20 now, he is 22.
She talked to me a little about it - and even though he was very good looking, she could see he was not going anywhere in life. He never finished school, he never had a steady job, and would drink more than she thought he should . So my
daughter felt that the best thing to do would be to part ways before she left. 

Last month, I got a call out of the blue from him.
He asked about her, how she was doing, then asked if he could stop by sometime "just to talk".
At first - I thought it was just an innocent thing.
But we started emailing back and forth, and although he has not stopped by yet - it looks like that
may happen soon.

Now I find myself fantasizing....
What if he wants to do more than talk???
I am in my early 40' he even thinking about "more"?
I remember during summer, I was laying out once at the pool here at my apartment complex, and he and my daughter stopped by to tell me they were leaving to go somewhere.  He was totally checking me out. That was so flattering.
I cant tell you how exciting it is that this "younger man" might be interested in me - yet how wrong
it would be since he is my daughters ex.
We ARE both adults - but I am torn between the excitement of "what if",  and the guilt knowing if he even
does come over, we could never tell my daughter.  

Maybe I am getting way ahead of myself....maybe he does just want to talk??
Is it wrong that I would almost be disappointed if that ends up being the case?

Vote up! 2

8 Comments (add your own)

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  1. firechief601 - 56-60 years old - male

    Posted by firechief601 on November 19th, 2013 at 9:42 AM

    sounds like you want him to try something. I'm sure you wouldn't stop him if he did come on too you

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 12:26PM

  3. bonvivant - 51-55 years old - male

    Posted by bonvivant on November 19th, 2013 at 10:03 AM

    Grow up--find another younger man to ****. What about loyalty to your daughter? Jeez- women can get ****** much easier and faster than men- why do you have to complicate everything? Don't **** where you eat..and if you need that explained to you , there is no hope for you...

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  4. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 12:26PM

  5. netsterman - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by netsterman on November 19th, 2013 at 10:47 AM

    There is one other possibility here that you may want to guard against. There is a very good chance that he was checking you out at the pool as you said, and now that he is without a gf, he very well may want to do you simply because you are a hottie, but what if he is trying to do something to get back at your daughter for dumping him? Just be careful that he is not trying to play with you just so that he can tell your daughter about it.

    There is power and validation in anyone finding us attractive, especially someone who is younger than we are, so you are normal to react the way that you have. Did you ever notice him and want him prior to any of this, or are you reacting to what you think may be his desire to play with you?

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  6. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 12:26PM

  7. pamdream - 41-45 years old - female

    Reply by pamdream Nov 19th, 2013 at 11:15AM

    I honestly never thought of him "that way", at least not seriously, until he called me when he knew she was away at college. I mean, don't get me wrong....I know an attractive guy when I see one, and he is super cute. But - after he called, I started to think about the way he looked at me sometimes, especially at the pool. As far as some of the other questions people have sent in.... "How far would I go?"...I have no idea. Nobody seems to think that he DOES want to stop by just to talk. If he did start something, we would have to have a long talk about things and set down rules. But, oh my, I usually work from home - so I cant help but think how easy it would be for him to come over and "talk" any time he wants.


  8. netsterman - 41-45 years old - male

    Reply by netsterman Nov 19th, 2013 at 12:24PM

    OK. That makes sense to me. Being a guy, I have a little insight as to how a guy thinks. IF he does only want to talk, then I think it is possible that he wants to talk about your daughter and what he can do to win her back. Having said that, the fact that he wants to come at a time when he knows she is not there suggests that he wants to make sure he can spend some time with you one-one-one. Have you ever been attracted to another guy about his age previously or is this a first for you? Do you have a boyfriend or husband at present, or are you single?


    1 more reply
  9. sxxcmiichael505 - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by sxxcmiichael505 on November 19th, 2013 at 3:07 PM

    Just come onto him first. He's a guy im sure he wouldn't mine blowing his load all over your facte and ****.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  10. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 12:26PM

  11. letschatsome - 46-50 years old - male

    Posted by letschatsome on November 19th, 2013 at 6:19 PM

    i would say he is more then wanting to exchange emails, invite him over and see what develops..

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  12. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 12:26PM

  13. longingly069 - 41-45 years old - male

    Posted by longingly069 on November 19th, 2013 at 6:23 PM

    you're an adult, she left him (for good reason) and if you just want some fun, do it, enjoy it. I have some somewhat related experience, PM me to talk

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  14. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 12:26PM

  15. findingme85 - 26-30 years old - female

    Posted by findingme85 on November 19th, 2013 at 9:17 PM

    I think that your daughters ex is off limits. How would you feel if your daughter had sex with your ex. No matter how old anyone is. There are just some lines you don't cross. If u want to have fun with a younger guy, go for it. Just not with him.

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  16. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 12:26PM

  17. workingman - 26-30 years old - male

    Posted by workingman on November 20th, 2013 at 2:54 PM

    Safe bet - find someone else who's young and will bang you well.. ;) get it out of your system.. with someone else..

    does it make it interesting that his penis has been inside your daughter too?

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  18. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User May 22nd, 2015 at 12:26PM

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