I hate my husband for not...

Comments (18):

1. 

   Posted by petiteme on

   I was sick with a chronic illness since the birth of my twin boys...i had chronic vertigo and was bed ridden for years with twin babies.
   I couldnt get up and make tea,i couldnt do laundry,i couldnt take care of the kids,i couldnt shop or drive...Its not that i was lazy and not wanting to do it...I COULD NOT DO IT DUE TO MY ILLNESS...
   The only time i went out was to go to the doctors also..
   I did not ask to get sick,i missed out on the most precious times with my twin boys that i cant replace and it hurt and syill hurts to this day.
   10 years on im still sick but i learned to adapt,i will never be 100% but looking back now i wish i did try harder to do things no matter how uncomfortable or sick i was and maybe i wouldnt of lost my husband.
   My husband had enough of me being sick and left the marriage,leaving me to cope with bringing up my twin boys alone with this illness..Its not easy but i get by.
   I dont know what kind of illness your husband has but imagine being in his shoes..he didnt ask to be sick...just like me.

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2. 

   Posted by PerrinProject on

   I'm sorry. I hate my life, but I don't even have a girlfriend. I am a loser and find no joy in anything. It seems life you have something. Well, you could leave him I guess, but it would be hard.

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3. 

   Posted by Run2Me on April 8th, 2009 at 8:02 AM

   In this modern era of liberal support from every aspect of government to expectations set on a spouse by another...life is beginning to show...too much compassion sucks. Speaking of "sucks", he is what I call a "Vampire". He's living off your life force. Let him starve if he won't get up and eat for himself, let him stink if he won't do his own laundry, and move him into a different bedroom if you hate him.

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4. 

   Posted by toluvis2live on April 8th, 2009 at 8:13 AM

   Its hard to do everything- have you or him spoken to his doctor? there has to be something that can be done.- You have to tell him how you feel.- this is taking a toll on you and you have kids you keep going like this and you might end up sick.. Talk to him, to his doctor, to his family, to your family and see what can be done... dont suck it up.. kick yell scream if you must..

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5. 

   Posted by jerrica on April 8th, 2009 at 8:29 AM

   sounds like what my brothers gf went through with him. he wouldn't do squat around the house to help her, she worked, busted her butt and said the same thing you did;just resolved to do everything. she finally got up the nerve to leave him and you should have seen how productive he became. apartment spotless, laundry done and he even lost about 40 lbs. he was more than capable of taking care of himself. too bad she came back to him. they did better apart than together.

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6. 

   Posted by Quagmyre on April 8th, 2009 at 8:45 AM

   Hi. It sounds like your a nurse, if a nurse is what he needs then that is what you should arrange for him. Be a wife, not a nurse or a maid. Do not live for him. Live for yourself, do things that you like to do and things that make you happy. Think about the things that once gave you joy and start doing them again.
   I can relate to him, because i had a traumatic brain injury, and was an invalid for quite soem time. Ironically, i relaized the meds they were giving me were debilitating me more than the injury. This may or may not be the case with him, but you would be very suprised how quickly someone can recover when they STOP taking a rainbow of complex meds every day!

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7. 

   Posted by Devlen on April 8th, 2009 at 8:56 AM

   This sounds very suspicious to me. I very have an extremely painful chronic illness but I manage to do laundry, cook, make beds, etc. for my family. If you don't carry his food to him I can guarantee that he won't starve to death. Move him to the guest room and let him lie there in stinky unwashed sheets and his unwashed body. Just dump his stuff in there and pitch an unholy fit if he tries to come back to your nice clean room. Don't give him any food unless he shows up at the table on time for meals and demand that he be properly attired. No pajamas or under shirts. No bare torso, for crying out loud! No odors!
   
   Tell him that there are disabled people in wheelchairs who manage to pull their weight around the house. They get up every day and go to work. If his problem is mental, such as Depression, he should be getting help and trying to do something about his situation. You should consult his doctor and let him know about your husband's behaviour because the doc may not be aware of it.
   
   The main thing is that you should put a stop to this NOW. If he's just using you because he's a lazy good-for-nothing you need to stop letting yourself be taken advantage of. It will ruin your life and you will wind up hating yourself. If you have children it will ruin their lives.
   
   If he is just sick and can't help himself, you need to get him some help before he ruins your marriage irretrievably. Start by calling his doctor TODAY!

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8. 

   Posted by PhysicalWreck on April 8th, 2009 at 9:12 AM

   Either he is feeling sorry for himself or he is taking advantage of you. I think you are wise to let him do what he is able to and help only with what he can NOT do.

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9. 

   Posted by keepgoing on April 8th, 2009 at 4:49 PM

   Thanks guys, for all of your answers. Not at all what I expected and exactly what I needed to hear.
   
   Yes I think the meds effect him in very bad ways, docs say no, that he is sick. 13 meds 18 pill a day. Rainbow puke diarrhea world.
   
   He is depressed, they just upped the zoloft last week.
   
   His illness is both physical and mental
   
   I know he wants to do stuff. Just sick and tired that he wont even try to make the effort.

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10. 

    Posted by Stormy741 on April 9th, 2009 at 2:28 PM

    I am disgusted that you feel this way. He is your husband & you married him for better or worse. If he is truly unable to care for himself, then someone has to do it, though you don't need to feel like you are taking on all the work load as I agree, that is unfair & very stressful, especially if you have 2 kids.
    There are plenty of associations around to speak to where you may be able get assistance, such as silver chain. You do not need to do it all on your own. A nurse could come in a few times a week to help or give you a break.
    However, if you feel that you can no longer cope & you have had enough of your relationship, why don't you look into getting him into a home where he will be properly cared for & you can then continue to create a new life for yourself without him. If he refuses this idea, then you can always leave. Nothing stopping you.

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