Hear A Crush Fetishist Out

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Thoswal - male

Posted by Thoswal
on March 3rd, 2014 at 4:49 PM

You're probably wondering what a crush fetish is. Perhaps the first thing that is popping into your mind is that it's a fetish based off of having a crush on someone. How could that possibly be a fetish? Unfortunately, that's a false assumption and that must mean that I'm talking about the other kind of crush. Compressing something forcefully. Particularly, insects or snails or worms being crushed by females. Now, before you click away from this article/rant or whatever you want to call it, let me dig deeper and try to explain as much as I can about this underground, strange fetish.

When I was a little kid, probably still in elementary school, I really liked insects and found them interesting. Sometimes I would just sit there and analyze ants to try and understand how they work. It was really fascinating and I always loved to play around with the little creatures. The first time I'd experienced a death in any kind of a way, was an insect death. It was a horrible experience for me, something that I'd grown so attached to and become so interested in was killed by a simple footstep. It wasn't fair and I would often become infuriated and depressed when people would go out of their way to kill an animal that did no harm to them. I begged my parents to stop killing them, and to let me take them outside, because as far as I was concerned, they hadn't been doing anything wrong.

Unfortunately, my attempts to constantly save them were in vain, because my family, my friends and practically everyone I knew had killed them without a second thought. I never understood why they couldn't just remain passive and let the insect or the spider mind its own business. Its existence wasn't threatening their lifestyle in any way. I'd still gone on trying to save every last one I could, but eventually I'd started to give up and turn a blind eye whenever someone would kill it. I didn't want to seem like someone who was too soft as I was nearing puberty, and always tried to rationalize in my own head, why the bug's death was justified and how I could have done nothing about it anyway.

All of a sudden, since my brain was psychologically going through changes, it had made a very strange connection. It connected my pity for seeing insects being killed, with sexual stimulation. The very next time I saw an insect killed by someone I'd actually had a crush on (no pun intended), I saw it and was immediately flooded with guilt. But at the same time, I became turned on at the sight of it, and couldn't stop staring. Too much ambivalence for one moment, it was like I had just witnessed a murder of a tiny life form that couldn't fight back, but was enjoying it at the same time. This continued and happened every single time I'd seen an insect killed afterwards, and sometimes I would even go out of my way and ask someone to kill the insect for me. I'm not scared to kill any insects myself and never have been, but pretend that I'm scared in order to become aroused.

Any of you reading this who are not crush fetishists probably think I'm a psycho by now. You probably think that I've either needed to go through psychiatric therapy to rid the connection in my mind or am unable to function like a normal human being--and this must apply for every single other human being out there with a crush fetish too. It's not true. I'm currently attend a university and maintain relationships with other people like any other normal person. Do I keep quiet about my fetish? Absolutely, it's not something I'm necessarily ashamed of, but there's something about people that everyone should know. Whether or not they judge you for something strange like that, you will be labelled with it as if it is THE characteristic that defines you. When people think of you, they're likely to think of "that person with a weird fetish". That's why I only let the people I trust the most know about it.

Now, back to my past, I started to look this stuff up on the Internet a long time ago to see if there was anyone else who liked this kind of stuff. It hadn't been blatantly apparent and right up in my face, but after enough searching, I did actually find a community of people who shared the same fetish as I did. The ages varied from teenagers to middle-aged people, but the majority of people were only a little older than me. They were primarily young, and I could think of two logical reasons for that: there were very few older people had used the Internet when I was a kid, and the fetish probably faded away for a lot of people as they grew older. That's why the people I started to get to know were primarily young. They also came from all parts of the world, from the United States, to European countries, to Australia, Canada and beyond. It was primarily males who liked to see females crush, but there were actually a few females who wanted to crush insects or little people.

Now, obviously I was pretty curious on how they started to like this stuff too. So I've personally messaged some of them asking how they acquired a crush fetish. I got mixed responses, but by far the most common one was "I don't know, I just started to like it as a kid". How do they not know, am I seriously the only person who remembers when and how I started to like this kind of stuff? On a brighter note though, most of the others who actually knew how they got it shared a similar experience to me. Most people acquire crush fetishes from scenarios in their childhood that impacted them in some kind of way. Usually it pertains to a novel experience or one that was pretty shocking, where the death of the insect lurked in their memories either out of pity, fascination, confusion or interest.

Hopefully most of you accept us for having this fetish, but now I'm going to move into something that irks me. There are two kinds of people grouped under a crush fetish. Ones with a "Soft Crush (fetish)" who like to see inanimate objects or insects/spiders/snails and so on killed. Things that people kill on a daily basis without really a second thought. Then, there are those who get their pleasure out of women killing larger animals, with a "Hard Crush (fetish)". These animals include rabbits, chickens, puppies and kittens. This videos had been sold legally and it made big news not that long ago, and it was the first time "Crush Fetish" had made a name for itself to people outside of our small community...but it wasn't a positive one. Nobody liked to hear about a puppy being stomped to death by some Chinese woman.

Not all crush fetishists like to see larger animals crushed! We can see their suffering and we can sympathize with them, because these larger animals actually have the ability to feel pain, which is absolutely horrible. It is insanely cruel on the part of women who crush these things without a care and I think all of us soft crush fetishists hate being grouped under the same category as those who watch animals suffering for long periods of time, slowly brought to a painful end. As much as I would love to join the protest against these guys, I am constantly reminded that my soft crush fetish is categorized under the exact same label as they are. A few times when I've mentioned that I have a crush fetish online, all people think about is the suffering of a little bunny rabbit, and get the false assumption that we're all like that. It's like associating every Christian with the zealots who cause religious wars. Not all crush fetishists are that extreme!

And yes, this fetish means that I would like to be in the place of that insect as it's being crushed. I want to be that tiny thing running away from a giant girl who forcefully squishes me however she pleases. For me it's not limited to the foot, it could be the breast, butt, hand, leg, object, tissue or any other way that a girl likes to annihilate an insect. I've also gotten the question, "But wouldn't it hurt to be killed at the size of a bug?" Well, as I've explained before, insects don't have pain receptors, so they are incapable of feeling pain. That being said, I do prefer to be something a little more conscious and has much better sight than insect. Still, it's not the pain of being an insect that turns me on, because honestly I cannot say that I would enjoy being in immense agony, I'd probably prefer to be numb if this were to happen. Again, this is not speaking for everyone, I'm sure there are a bunch of them who would enjoy the pain aspect of it as well.

There are a lot of fetishes I found that are related to a crush fetish, tramping fetish (essentially a synonym) giantess fetish (pleasure from giant girls), macrophilia (pleasure from being tiny). Becoming a little less literal, other ones I found in the community were vorarephilia (also called vore, desire to be eaten at a tiny size, not to be confused with hard vore), foot fetish (the common one that everyone knows) and BDSM (the dominance and submission aspect of it). I apologize for any of you related to the fetish that I missed, because there really are a ton of them out there.

Personally still, I have a whole conflict in my mind between feeling bad for the little creature being killed and being attracted after someone kills it. I go out of my way very rarely to request an insect to be killed by another, partially because I feel bad and partially because...well most people don't know about it. If an insect is in the room minding its own business, female there or not, I will try and let it live. But if she points it out and asks me to kill it, or demands me to kill it rather, I try to give her the courage to kill it herself and everybody wins...except the poor little insect. 

My only desire after writing this long informational rant is to hopefully give crush fetish a label in a more positive light, especially after the negative labels slapped onto it after the less common "hard crush" became made widely-known. I know that many of you will not even justify with stepping on insects or worms or anything deemed as "pests", but hopefully at least the people under this category will not be shamed as much as they once were. If you have any general questions about the fetish or any specific questions for me, I will answer them for you. Hopefully we will live in a world one day that is more open to these strange fetishes.

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1 Comment (add your own)

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  1. jimy19521 - 31-35 years old - male

    Posted by jimy19521 on April 14th, 2014 at 10:18 AM

    You´re absolutely right!Reading your article was like reading about my own far.It´s hard to live with some fetish like that,and it´s harder not to have an idea if you are the onlyone with this weired fetish.Because ,as you said ,not many people can understand this.Noone really has a choice about what kind of sexuality you´ll have as a grown up...unfortunately

    Reply | 1dislike | Flag

  2. Anonymous

    Reply by An EP User Apr 25th, 2015 at 2:15AM

Experience Project is a community based on authenticity, support, and respect. EP encourages you to post with these values in mind.

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