Dreams can provide insight into our deepest thoughts. Using dream interpretation to explore dream symbols and uncover a dream's meaning can lead to a better understanding of ourselves.
Terrible dream of last night.
I don't know what had happened to me before. I woke up, in the darkness. It was very cold and a film of dampness on the walls I could touch behind my back. I was tied up, wrists, and ankles, and I had something in my mouth, like a huge tissue, that hurt, and kept me from really making a sound. I heard a noise. Steps. Then it stopped in front of me, but I couldn't see anything. Scared? It's not strong enough. He lit up a flash light. Put it in my face. It burnt my eyes literally. He knew my first name, and talked in a weird low voice. Saying he was gonna give me a gift. He showed me a girl on the ground. Young, I don't know what age, but really young. She had only a shirt on. He hit her in the face. She moved, but she didn't really react. He let the flash light beside her, got on top of her, and raped her. She didn't move, nothing. I screamed through that tissu stuff in my mouth, that had a taste of dirt, but nothing happened. I couldn't move. I was powerless to help her. Then he sat down on her chest, and I couldn't see what he did. It was hard to breathe. I had anxious dreams, but it was beyond that, it came from deep inside, pure horror and terror. He took back the flash light, got up, cut the light, and I heard him walk away. I had a sore stomach. But I had to control myself, that seemed impossible. I knew I was in shock. I heard noises then, lots of noises. Lots of steps. Flash lights. People coming. I coudn't even make my voice heard. I heard Mulder. With all the lights, I thought I was in a sort of big sewer pipe. Many people, some I knew, some I didn't, cops too. Mulder knelt in front of me, and put that dirty stuff off my mouth. "The girl", it's the only thing I could say. Others were checking on her already. I couldn't really see. Mulder told me "don't watch", then "are you ok?" He untied me, and getting up was so awkward. My muscles were tense. I wanted to watch. But Mulder hurried me the other way. I suppose she was dead, and if he didn't want me to watch, he had good reasons. I threw up, and it felt like my organs were getting outside my body. I woke up then.
I haven't eaten anything today. I just can't. I' going to work late this evening, maybe it's a good thing. I still have these pictures in mind.
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