I was holding onto something like a hand-glider. It was taking me farther and farther from the beach, the water below me was angry. I couldnt see below the dark water and the violent waves break the surface.I look behind me and am aware of how far the beach is. I could let go and no one would ever find me, I could let go and I would never make it back before sinking to the bottom. But Im the water scares me and I decide I want to go back.
As soon as I decide i dont want to let go, the device Im holding turns back to the beach. Once Im over the beach, I let go and drop to my knees on the white sand. The warmth of the sun mocks me as I try to take deep breathes and stop myself from sobbing.Friends come up to me and tell me to pull myself together and get up. I ignore them, they have no idea how hard it was to chose to come back. Im exhausted and need to calm down. I focus on the feel of the sand and my breathing. My friends are telling me to to get up or they are going to get mulch and they know how much I hate the feeling of it (dont know where that came from...dont not like mulch in reality). I dont have the energy to respond and i continue to ignore them, focusing on evening out my breathing. Eventually they leave to get mulch or talk about me or whatever.
As I calm down I glance at the water. The water along the edge is nothing like the deep angry waters off shore, instead it is calm and clear. I crawl over the the edge and completely submerge myself. The cool water caresses my heated skin. I gaze through the water and watch as sun beams glisten through.
All of the sudden a pair of hands crash through my peaceful escape and drag my body above the water.I feel my body pressed against someone as they lean my forward and start pounding on my back telling me to "Oh no you dont. Breath damn it!" I release a breath i didnt know i was holding and begin to violently cough up water. As soon as i stopped I was carelessly dropped to the ground and the man went to talk with a group, he was telling them he was going to take me away so I cant "pull a stunt like that again" I lay on the ground, sand stuck to my wet body,completely exhausted and unable to move my body.I just want to crawl away and never been seen again. They don't understand how hard it was to come back.Why did I come back?
(And with that sense of dread, I woke up :p)
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