I'm sitting in a restraunt, it's well it and nice, like I'd imagine a great brunch place to be, not that I've ever been to brunch. I'm sitting at a taller table with two people. One is my old crush from middle and high school, James, he looks and dresses just like he did back in the 1990's. The other is an older woman with dark hair and olive skin dressed in a beige pantsuit and her hair pulled back. As the meal progresses, I realize the woman is James' mother, whom I've only seen once in my entire life. The conversation is very general about our activities and families. It's all very pleasant and friendly. I'm thinking, "Isn't it nice to be so friendly with this guy after all this time" His mother leaves, and James moves closer to me and takes my hands. I'm surprised and realize this wasn't just a friendly meal, but a test. We are together. I had just met his mother! He's rubbing circles on the back of my hands with his thumbs, and I feel that little dip in my gut I get when love moves through me. I am amazed. "Finally," I think, "after all this time." He's chattering about how well the meeting went and how his mom will grow to love me just like he does, and I feel like there are stars in my eyes. Then he slips a ring on my finger and... I wake up.
Background: I haven't seen this guy in 16 years, since highschool graduation. I began to crush on him in 6th grade, when we became friends. And we were very good friends, writing letters over the summers and hanging out after school. In highschool he found out that I liked him "that way" and he let me down gently, said we could still be friends, just not as close. And we were. It was a small school, we still saw eachother everyday and talked sometimes and I even was pretty good friends with a few of his friends, but mostly we were just polite to eachother. But I still liked him, even thought I loved him - such as schoolgirl crushes go.
James is in my dreams alot, which is weird to me. I have kissed him a few times, but generally, the dreams go like the one above. I googled him one day and saw his mug shot from a 3rd offense DUI, I thought that would be the end of it - curiosity satisfied. But I was wrong.
I am married to the greatest, funniest guy that has become my best friend in all the world (see my story - Deeply). I am totally confused as to why a 16 year old crush is still haunting my dreams.
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