I Love Jokes And Riddles Stories of Experiences

....my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the washing machine?' 'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your...

.....were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and values. Stuart said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?

Q. How many Microsoft support staff does it take to change a light bulb?

A. Four. One to ask "What is the registration number of the light bulb?", one to ask "Have you tried rebooting it?", another to ask "Have you tried reinstalling...

The previous joke posted here about the divorcee seeing his wife's ad on the personals reminded me of the 70s Rupert Holmes song .... so here are the lyrics .... very cute ...

I was tired of my lady
We'd been together too long
Like a...

My ex and I had a very amicable divorce.

I know this because when I wrote the Facebook status “I’m getting a divorce,

” he was the first one to click Like.

About a year had passed since my amicable divorce, and I decided it was time to start dating again.

Unsure how to begin, I thought I’d scan the personals column of my local newspaper. I came across three men who seemed like they’d...

An old farmer is inconsolable after his dog goes missing. His wife suggests he take out an ad in the newspaper, which he does. But two weeks later, there’s still no sign of the mutt.

“What did you write in the ad?” his wife asks...

Alice was 18 when she first got married; she had 6 children by her husband. After a few years, he fell sick and died.

Then she married again and had 5 children from the second husband; after a few years, he met with an accident and...

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went out on a camping trip.As they lat down for the night, Holmes said, "Watson, look up into the sky and tell me what you see?"Watson said, "I see millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets...

A lady walks into a high class jewelry shop. She browses around and spots a beautiful diamond bracelet and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to look more closely, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks...

At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. "It opens at noon, " answres the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even more drunker. "What time does the...

A guy walks in to a bar with his dog he puts the dog on the bar and says to the bartender, "This is the smartest dog in the world. I bet five dollars that you can ask him any thing and he will tell you the right answer." So the...

These two hunters enter the bar every day the first one always carries the skin of a bear the other one always empty handed. So the second one goes up to the first hunter and asks him how he gets to shoot a bear every day. "Well that's...

An old woman was sitting on her front porch beside her husband, sipping on a glass of wine, when she says, "I love you so much.....I don't know how I could ever live without you."
The husband replies, "Is that you or the wine talking...

A group of soldiers were being told by the medic what to do if they're stung by a scorpion. The medic tells them that their friend will have to cut out the area that was stung and then suck out the semen.

so one soldiers asks "what if...

I knew a vet who was drafted into the army as a doctor in an infantry unit.
When he received his posting he said to the assigning officer/doctor .... "You DO realize I'm a vet"
to which he was answered ....
"Its ok, those guys in the...

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner, but his wife was already preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he grabbed his cell phone and texted his wife:
"The tent pole is up...

This is a detective story
So Pay Close Attention!!!

Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game.
They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels into the ball park.

The game is real exciting
and they are enjoying...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a...

Jack n Jill went up the hill, so jack could lick her fanny.

Jack got a shock n a mouth full of cock, becouse jills a fuking tranny.