I Love Jokes And Riddles Stories of Experiences

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best
to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who
knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her...

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she...

It is August in a small town on the South Coast of France, holiday season is in full swing, but it is raining so there is not too much business happening.

Everyone is heavily in debt.

Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the...

How do prisoners communicate in prison? Cellphones

A man who makes it, sales it.

A man who buys it, needs it.

And the man who needs it doesnt know it.

What is it?

ITS A COFFIN lol

The man who needs it doesnt know it because he's dead

A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.
"No," the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse."
"And did you listen for a heartbeat...

This is the only joke my work mate Ciara can ever remember....
It's pretty neat!
Ok....
Here goes....
What has "The Titanic" and "The Sixth Sense" got in common?
"Icy Dead People..." / "I SEE Dead People..."
:-)
Geoff xx

A man went skydiving for the first time. The instructor told him to just jump and pull the ripcord. The man asked "What if the parachute doesn't come out?" The instructor said to pull the emergency ripcord. The man asked "What if the...

A women was having sex in her Apartment on 20th floor.
She then heard the door bell it was her husband.
She told her lover not to move and behave like a robot.

Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot i bought to have sex with when...

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs...

A lady lost her panties in the park.

She made her dog smell her pussy so that he can search it.

The dog confused came back with a dozens of used condoms.

Three friends die in a car accident, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?The first guy says...

One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him." So, he goes...

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink...

Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go...

A man who was in an unfortunate car accident had surgery and was put into an induced coma. When he woke, he said to the doctor: "Doctor I cannot feel my legs at all!", in which the doctor replied: "I know, that's because i had to...

By now, everyone has heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51." Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their...

There I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a really big, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig."Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand...