I Love Jokes And Riddles Stories of Experiences

Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from internal trauma associated with repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71...

A pastor concluded that his church was getting into very serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new Bibles that had never been opened and distributed.

So at his Sunday...

I know it's not christmas, but I just though I'd share this:

(to be sung to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Dashing through the snow,
Get the fuck out of my way,
You're all so bloody slow,
And fat, what do you way?

I'll end your carolling...

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers that it's his daughter's birthday.

He pulls over to a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, "How much for one of those Barbie's in the display window?"

The...

When you run a feisty heist on a weird beige foreign neighborhood :). Ya gotta love English!

ヽ(•‿•)ノヽ(•‿•)ノヽ(•‿•)ノヽ(•‿•)ノ
A B C D E F G,
Gummy bears are after me.
One is red
One is blue
The yellow one just took my shoe.
When i find him i will sue,
Then i will get back to you...

2 parrots were sitting on a perch. One parrot said to the other: "Hey, can you smell any fish around here?"

NICKNAMES:

If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy...

The story of someone getting a haircut.

Women's version:

Woman2: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!

Woman1: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?

Woman2...

***Disclaimer: Before anyone gets offended, I do not mean this as an insult and I anything but racist. I find humor in all nationalities & ethnicities.***

Q: What did Davy Crocket say when he saw all the mexicans running towards...

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.An earlier discussion led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked...

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated...

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die...

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying.

On one...

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM - AUSSIE STYLE

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men's used size 14-16 work
boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of 'Guns & Ammo'
Magazine.
3. Put a few giant...

A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor. The doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That same day the man went to the store and bought himself a...

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?” The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons...

A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Finally, the boy drops his pants and says, “Here’s something I have that you’ll never have!” The little girl is pretty upset by...

A trucker who has been out on the road for two months stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!" The Madam is astonished...

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
You give one to your neighbour

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State...