I Love Jokes And Riddles Stories of Experiences

I move in closer, hold them, round firm in my hands, weigh them up and down, feel their both hard but soft texture at the same time .....

Now its your turn, you take it in your hands, feel it long and hard, you run your hands around...

Tim, a successful business man, decides that lately he's been working himself to death so to make it up to himself, he decides to go out for a nice dinner to treat himself. So, after putting on his best suit, the one with the velvety...

An older lady was lonely and decided that she needed a pet to keep her company. So off to the pet shop she went. Forlornly, she searched. Nothing seemed to catch her interest, except this one ugly frog.As she walked by the barrel he was...

A man decides to have a facelift for his birthday. He spends $5,000 and feels really good about the results. On his way home, he stops at a news stand and buys a paper. Before leaving, he says to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind...

A guy goes to the local office of Interior and when his turn comes he says to the clerk that he'd like to change his name.
The clerk shakes his head and says that the law only allows people to change their name in special circumstances...

Once upon a time, a man called Colin convinced his boss that he knew everybody in the world. The boss doubted this, so Colin drove him to George Clooney's house.

Colin knocked, the boss watched, and George Clooney came out of the...

This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best
to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who
knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

A woman was at her...

After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift.

"How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk.

She showed him a bottle costing $50.00.

"That's a bit much," said Tim, so she...

It is August in a small town on the South Coast of France, holiday season is in full swing, but it is raining so there is not too much business happening.

Everyone is heavily in debt.

Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the...

How do prisoners communicate in prison? Cellphones

A man who makes it, sales it.

A man who buys it, needs it.

And the man who needs it doesnt know it.

What is it?

ITS A COFFIN lol

The man who needs it doesnt know it because he's dead

A lawyer was cross-examining the doctor about whether or not he had checked the pulse of the deceased before he signed the death certificate.
"No," the doctor said. "I did not check his pulse."
"And did you listen for a heartbeat...

This is the only joke my work mate Ciara can ever remember....
It's pretty neat!
Ok....
Here goes....
What has "The Titanic" and "The Sixth Sense" got in common?
"Icy Dead People..." / "I SEE Dead People..."
:-)
Geoff xx

A man went skydiving for the first time. The instructor told him to just jump and pull the ripcord. The man asked "What if the parachute doesn't come out?" The instructor said to pull the emergency ripcord. The man asked "What if the...

A women was having sex in her Apartment on 20th floor.
She then heard the door bell it was her husband.
She told her lover not to move and behave like a robot.

Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot i bought to have sex with when...

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs...

A lady lost her panties in the park.

She made her dog smell her pussy so that he can search it.

The dog confused came back with a dozens of used condoms.

Three friends die in a car accident, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?The first guy says...

One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him." So, he goes...