I Love Jokes And Riddles Stories of Experiences

A man went skydiving for the first time. The instructor told him to just jump and pull the ripcord. The man asked "What if the parachute doesn't come out?" The instructor said to pull the emergency ripcord. The man asked "What if the...

* The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did. She's 25, and her name's Louise.

* Went to our local bar with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because...

A women was having sex in her Apartment on 20th floor.
She then heard the door bell it was her husband.
She told her lover not to move and behave like a robot.

Husband: What is this?
Wife: This is a robot i bought to have sex with when...

A frustrated wife buys a pair of crotchless panties in an attempt to spice up her dead sex life. She puts them on, together with a short skirt and sits on the sofa opposite her husband.

At strategic moments she uncrosses her legs...

A lady lost her panties in the park.

She made her dog smell her pussy so that he can search it.

The dog confused came back with a dozens of used condoms.

Three friends die in a car accident, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?The first guy says...

One sunny day in Ireland, two men were sitting in a pub, drinking some Guinness, when one turns to the other and says "You see that man over there? He looks just like me! I think I'm gonna go over there and talk to him." So, he goes...

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar... FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST! So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink...

Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go...

A man who was in an unfortunate car accident had surgery and was put into an induced coma. When he woke, he said to the doctor: "Doctor I cannot feel my legs at all!", in which the doctor replied: "I know, that's because i had to...

By now, everyone has heard of the Air Force's ultra-high-security, super-secret base in Nevada, known simply as "Area 51." Late one afternoon, the Air Force folks out at Area 51 were very surprised to see a Cessna landing at their...

There I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a really big, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink, and gulps it down in one swig."Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" he says menacingly, as I burst into...

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants
To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed
I turned to her and asked, "Do you want to have sex?
'No' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time...

My wife and I were watching Who Wants
To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed
I turned to her and asked, "Do you want to have sex?
'No' she answered. I then said,
'Is that your final answer?'
She didn't even look at me this time...

- You failed to meet the dress code at the fairground.

- Your fishpond used to be your hot tub.

- 3 of America’s Top 10 Most Wanted are at your class reunion.

- You’ve experienced “road rage” on a riding lawn mower...

The teacher stood in front of her third grade class. This is a thinking exercise she said with her hand behind her back. In my hand I have something round and red and good to eat. What is it? Mary said Its an apple! Teacher said no it...

I must admit, you brought Religion into my life. I never believed in Hell until I met you.
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Heard your wife left you, How upset you must be. But don't fret about it... She moved in with me.
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Looking back over the years that we've been together, I can't help but wonder... 'What the hell was I thinking?'
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