I Love Jokes And Riddles Stories of Experiences

And old woman was sitting on her porch beside her husband, sipping on a glass of wine when she says, "I love you so much.....I don't know how I could ever live without you."

The husband replies, "Is that you or the wine talking?".

She...

A group of soldiers were being told by the medic what to do if they're stung by a scorpion. The medic tells them that their friend will have to cut out the area that was stung and then suck out the semen.

so one soldiers asks "what if...

I knew a vet who was drafted into the army as a doctor in an infantry unit.
When he received his posting he said to the assigning officer/doctor .... "You DO realize I'm a vet"
to which he was answered ....
"Its ok, those guys in the...

Joe woke up one morning with an enormous boner, but his wife was already preparing breakfast in the kitchen.

Joe was afraid he might spoil things by getting up, so he grabbed his cell phone and texted his wife:
"The tent pole is up...

This is a detective story
So Pay Close Attention!!!

Three elderly ladies are excited about seeing their first baseball game.
They smuggle a bottle of Jack Daniels into the ball park.

The game is real exciting
and they are enjoying...

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a...

Jack n Jill went up the hill, so jack could lick her fanny.

Jack got a shock n a mouth full of cock, becouse jills a fuking tranny.

Two blondes were driving to Disneyland. After a few hours, they came across a road sign that said, "DISNEYLAND LEFT", so they turned around and went home. ;-)

THANK YOU .............. MAY GOD BLESS

A pretty teacher was concerned with one of her students.
Taking him aside after class one day she asked, "Little Billy, why has your schoolwork been so poor lately?"

"I'm in love", he said

Holding back the urge to smile she asks...

A teacher asks her class, "If there were 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many are left?"

She calls on Little Billy.

He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies...

If a man speaks in the woods and no woman is there to hear him...........................

"IS HE STILL WRONG" ???

St. Peter was manning the Pearly Gates when 40 New Yorkers showed up.Never having seen anyone from the Big Apple at heaven's door before.St, Peter thought he had better consult God.So he left the group at the gates and went off to find...

Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits...

A man in a bar walks up to another guy in the bar and says "Did you know that the beer they serve here can make you fly?"
"Yeah right!", the guy says, "Prove it!"
The man orders a beer, drinks it down, opens the nearest window, flys...

I became confused when I heard the word "Service"used with these agencies:Internal Revenue 'Service'U.S. Postal 'Service'Telephone 'Service'Cable TV 'Service'Civil 'Service'State, City, County & Public 'Service'Customer 'Service'This is...

There was a man who had worked all his life, had saved all his money, and was a real miser when it came to his money.He told his wife, "When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me with me. I want to...

A devout Arab Muslim entered a black cab in London . He curtly asked the Cabbie to turn off the radio
because as decreed by his religious teaching, he must not listen to music because “in the time of the
prophet there was no music...

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed.She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"The next morning he...

A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, 'Dad.', he opened the envelope and...