I Want To Know Your Favourite ' South Park ' Quote Stories of Experiences

Stan: You know, somebody once said, “Don’t try to be a great man, just be a man.”Jesus: Who said that?Stan: You did, Jesus.Jesus: You’re right, Stan. Thank you, boys!Kyle: Wow, did he say that in the Bible?Stan: Nah, I saw it on...

[Kenny reappears after being dead for the whole sixth season]
KENNY : Hey, guys what's going on?
STAN : Oh, hey, Kenny.
KYLE : Hey, dude, where have you been?
KENNY : Over there. [points offscreen]

MR. BLACK : All right, Token, we know you must be very confused about what you saw.
RANDY MARSH : Yes, uh, you see, Token, that was called a pornographic film. It shows adult men and adult women having sexual intercourse. Well, you, you...

CHEF : Hello there, children.
STAN : Chef, what would a priest want to stick up my butt?
CHEF : Goodbye.

CARTMAN : Mister! You gotta help me, I'm starving to death!
WORKER : What are you doing out here, little boy?
CARTMAN : I was with my class, and we got all lost in the rainforest and I need some food; I'm fading fast.
WORKER : Lost in...

WENDY : Ms. Ellen, can I talk to you?
MS. ELLEN : Of course, Wendy.
WENDY : I couldn't help but notice you've taken a liking to my boyfriend Stan.
MS. ELLEN : Well, I've taken a liking to all of you. You're all so young and cute and...

JIMMY : Hey, fellas, where's Cartman?
STAN : Cartman isn't our friend anymore.
KYLE : We're ignoring him.
TOKEN : Ignoring him, how come?
KYLE : Because he's a fat, racist, self-centered, intolerant, manipulating sociopath.
TOKEN : Oh...

MR. GARRISON : That means I'm not really a woman! I'm just a guy with a mutilated penis!
DOCTOR : Basically, yes.

[Tweek is worried about his family becoming poor]
CARTMAN : You can always go on welfare. Just look at Kenny's family, they're perfectly happy being poor and they're on welfare. Right, Kenny?
KENNY : Fuck you!
CARTMAN : Heh-heh, you...

CARTMAN : Mr. Garrison, Stan's behavior is having an adverse effect on my education.
STAN : Shut up, Cartman!

TERRANCE : Scott really hates us, Phillip.
PHILLIP : Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.
TERRANCE : But we're not gay, Phillip.
PHILLIP : We're not?

CARTMAN : You seem a little irritable Kyle. You got some sand in your vagina? KYLE : There's no sand in my vagina!

THE BEST EVER!!!

CARTMAN : If dolphins are so smart, why do they get caught in those fishing nets all the time?

CARTMAN : For my book report I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was very, very good. Have you read it Mr. Garrison? MR. GARRISON : No I can't say that I have. CARTMAN : Oh good. In The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe...

CARTMAN : I'm gonna be Jesus. KYLE : You're too fat to be Jesus. Stan should be Jesus. CARTMAN : Either I'm Jesus or screw you guys I'm going home. KYLE : All right, all right, you can be Jesus, you tubby cry baby. CARTMAN...

CARTMAN : Look if you don't come and do this show, I'll make you eat your parents! PHILLIP : Yeah, whatever kid. STAN : He'll do it dude!

CARTMAN : I'm not fat. I have a different life choice.

MR. GARRISON : Eric you're not half bi. CARTMAN : I'm like a quarter bi. My grandpa was bi so that makes me a quarter bi. MR. GARRISON : WHAT?!?