I Love Jokes Stories of Experiences by most voted up stories

The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said 'Give me Liberty , or give me Death'?"
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Little Johnny,a bright foreign exchange student from Japan , who had his hand up...

Ok, now, if you're in a sexless marriage and wonder why, this will give you a clue! LOL
Enjoy!
Cheleanne
 
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of...

A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake and Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend...

If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one you should read this.

The language used is a bit salty, but 'he tells it like it is' without cursing.

If you don't laugh hysterically at this, CHECK YOUR PULSE...

1. Whenever i find the Key to Success, someone changes the lock.

2. The road to success is always under Construction

3. In order to get a loan, You first need to Prove that you don't need it

4. All the desirable things in life are...

A little boy wakes up during the night and walks into his parents room, and see's his mother bouncing up and down on top of his father.The parents stop and the mother quickly dismounts, pulling the covers around herself."What where you...

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three would wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes. After a few...

One day two very loving parents got into a huge fight, the man called the women a "bitch" and the women called the man a "bastard".

Their son walked in and said "What does bitch and bastard mean?" and the parents replied "ladies and...

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,"I would like to buy some cyanide."

The pharmacist asked,"Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady...

A blond drops off her black dress at the cleaners.On the way out the door, the lady at the counter says "Come Again"The blond replies, "No it's toothpaste this time you nosy bitch"

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is...

Sad news that a man has been killed at a chocolate warehouse when two large crates of white chocolate fell, toppling his forklift truck and crushing him.
He tried in vain to save himself but when he shouted out, "The milky bars are on...

Man goes to a fancy dress party, wearing only a glass jar on his penis.A woman asks "What are you?"He says "I'm a fireman""But you're only wearing a glass jar?",says the woman"Exactly!","In an emergency, break glass, pull knob, and I'll...

What does an 85 year old woman have between her breasts that a 25 year old woman doesn't?Give up?A Belly button. 

A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma...

A man was being tailgated by a stressed-out woman on a busy
boulevard. Suddenly, the light turned yellow, just in front of him.
 
He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk, even though he
could have beaten the red light...

Husband asks Wife: What would you do if I win a lottery???
.
wife: I'd take half, then leave you 4ever!!!
.
.
.
Husband:''Excellent, I won $50. Here's $25,Now GET LOST"

TO: Boss

FROM: BlondieRE:

Changing Calendars from Y2K I hope that I haven't misunderstood your instructions because, to be honest, none of this Y to K problem made much sense to me. At any rate, I have finished the conversion of...

A doctor of psychology was doing his normal morning rounds when he entered a patient's room. He found Patient #1 sitting on the floor, pretending to saw a piece of wood in half.Patient #2 was hanging from the ceiling, by his feet.The...

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.

Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen.

"Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!

TURN...